URGENT -advice needed

[Anonymous]

I cant get through to womensaid in my meagre time I get to make phone calls. Ive tried as much as I can. He suspects and the few ways I had to make calls are diminishing. And I really need advice.

I’m hoping this isn’t too precise but I own half my home and am named on the mortgage. He is trying to change the terms of the mortgage. He has an appointment with the provider. I strongly feel he will try to make the payments higher or the term longer, which will dramatically impact my ability to leave.

The appointment is just with him and the mortgage provider. Apparently they haven’t even asked to speak to me?!?!?! Can he do this without my say so? How do I stop him? How do I stop him without showing my hand?

I feel like a noose is tightening. This is a huge potential roadblock. Does anyone know what to do?

[seaglass]

Hi, I managed to get through to my local womans aid ( not the national line) and they were able to set me up with a solicitors telephone appointment where I got 20 minutes free advice, That may be worth a go? I hope you can get some more advice, help.

[Anonymous]

Hi @seaglass local womens aid is a something I really hadn’t thought of. Thank you x

[Watersprite]

Hello Sande you sound afraid and feeling stuck. Sending support I know how that feels Keep trying womensaid. Boots pharmacy have a safe space for victims of domestic abuse can you get there? Will he let you see your GP? Can you go somewhere else pack a bag? Re house you need legal advice lots of solicitors offer a free 30 mins is that an option? In the end you will have rights over your house the CAB will know. We had to flee left everything but you know what it’s been hard but now some time on I can honestly say it was the best thing I did we are alive and safe and rebuilding. You can too x

[Anonymous]

@Watersprite thank you x

My GP is only offering video appointments at best. Boots could work though.

I am scared if I flee I have no proof of his abuse and I’d be stuffed then. I had this carefully laid plan of withdrawing but it feels im not going to be able to.

You do give me hope though there will be life the other side of this farce of a relationship. I just have to get there.

[Watersprite]

The most important thing is don’t tell him don’t let him know leaving is the most dangerous time x

[KIP.]

Ring the provider and tell them it’s confidential. That you do not wish any changes to be made. You may find that in the small Print either party can make changes but I doubt this. Either way it would be good for you to know. Tell them That you’re concerned you husband may be faking your signature. And nothing has to be approved without your face to face permission x

[Anonymous]

@KIP calling them might actually be more possible. I have a small window – the lines there are busy too or so he says due to Covid. I just have to somehow hope to God that theyre professional enough not to blab and I dont know. And that scares me. He doesnt do well with me being “embarrassing”.

It’s odd, now you point out he might be lying, I do wonder. It doesn’t ring true. The initial letter that prompted this appointment (a deal is concluding) was definitely addressed to both of us so surely they need to speak to both of us.

[KIP.]

Abusers are liars so he may not even have an appointment and is just fishing to see what you will do.

[Beautifulday]

@sande

If you are named on the mortgage then no he shouldn’t be able to do anything without your consent also , who is he going to ? A mortgage advisor? Do you know who the mortgage advisor is? Even when I remortgaged our home to get a better deal even though my Husband is not named on the mortgage he still had to sign forms!!!
I would maybe get free legal advice from a solicitor fond out who offers 30mins free, also university’s law schools will offer free advice my local one does.

He shouldn’t be able to do anything without your consent, what exactly did he say hes doing? Is he remortgaging to get another deal? Maybe he is just saying this and its a lie that’s how cunning and deceiving they are ! But whatever it is no he shouldn’t be allowed to do that

[Anonymous]

Thank you @Beautifulday, that makes sense and is reassuring.

I know who the provider is as the letters that we get are addressed to both of us so I have opened them. If I can access the paperwork – which he sometimes keeps in places I cant access – I might be able to get the account number. Hopefully.

(detail removed by Moderator)

I blurted out to him that surely I need to be part of the conversation and he said he couldn’t see why that was necessary. But surely it is?

This is the second time he’s done something like this,(detail removed by Moderator). The other debt I wasn’t named on so I couldn’t have any affect. But surely this must be different.

[Beautifulday]

Forgot to ask do you know what company your mortgage is with? If so you have every right to call or email them to enquire about this

[Author]

Posts