20th March 2016 at 4:53 pm #11945
(detail removed by moderator), I gave a statement to the police about the abuse my ex inflicted on me. He’s also been pulled up on raping a teenager! But (date removed by moderator) I get a call saying that he will most likely just get a caution! A CAUTION!! If he shows remorse then that’s all he will get! OMG!! He is brilliant at manipulating people and twisting things to his advantage! And he is BRILLIANT at putting on the water works to make it look like he’s all hard done to!! Are they crazy!! He’s speaking to 5 or 6 women at a time! Has been going from one woman to the next since I left him! He’s already raped a teenager! How long before his next victim? Is it really worth the risk of another woman getting abused or raped before you do anything!?! These are women’s lives that are being put at risk!! I know exactly how he will go about this… He will walk away thinking he’s gotten away with it and continue with his life the way he wants to, happy as Larry! And I’m still sitting here, my head whirring, with a baby boy to take care of! And since giving this statement, it’s just brought everything back and I’m just so down with it all!! Hate feeling like this!! So far, the only thing I have to keep my going is my son! My mum and my best friend are there to support me, but my friend hasn’t been here for a few weeks, so all I have is my mum… It’s even worse when I’m alone!!
Sorry rant over!! Just had to get that off my chest 😥😩 x*x
20th March 2016 at 5:52 pm #11951missgiddypantsParticipant
oh dear big hugs to you and it’s awful if he gets away with the rape that really is bad news xx
20th March 2016 at 6:02 pm #11954KIP.Participant
Hi there, at last they will have your statement. If other women come forward they may be able to charge him. I think he may now be on Claire’s law. Good for you for holding him to account. Things will get better. You’re still in shock. Just take care of yourself and your baby x
20th March 2016 at 6:46 pm #11961
Thank you ladies! Just difficult knowing he won’t be punished for what he’s done to me! Just need to come to terms with it x*x
20th March 2016 at 7:24 pm #11963lover of no contactParticipant
Well done you did your part, you held him to account for his behaviour. You can’t control the outcome, which unfortunately always seems to be lenient towards perpetrators and leave the victims to pick up the pieces of recovering from the crime (the abuse).
You did the right and the brave thing for you and future victims of his, and would you believe it for him. Because how will he ever learn to change his behaviour if ‘the system’ enables his abusive and criminal raping behaviour.
Yes he merrily skips away thinking he’s got off scot- free. But he can’t escape himself. He’s left with himself, a rapist who abuses innocent women. He will continue with his behaviours until one day his pack of cards will come tumbling down. For every action there is a consequence. Just because the courts have let him away with no consequences for his criminal behaviour, life won’t be so lenient…. eventually. His abusive behaviours will eventually catch up with him (even if its only on his deathbed).
Well he’s had one consequence, he’s lost you. Someone who would have loved him, been loyal and made his life a lot easier.
He can’t escape himself and his behaviours but you can have peace in your life without him and you have a clear conscience knowing by reporting him you tried to protect any future victims from his behaviour of raping. Sadly the court didn’t help protect his future victims but that’s not your fault.
20th March 2016 at 8:13 pm #11967AyannaParticipant
Hi, yes, the legal situation regarding rape is disgusting and it gets worse. You reported him and this statement stays with the police. If you can get other women to report him he has lost. Maybe you know them and can convince them to go to the police?
If not, he will be caught one day and then they may call you as a witness.
Try to go zero contact otherwise and do not try to find out what he is doing. It is too painful and upsetting and sets you back.
I went zero contact and refused to accept any information about him until today. And I keep it like that.
The abusers do not succeed in life. They will stumble eventually, while we get back on our feet and carry on better than we have ever been.
Be kind to yourself and do nice things. x*x
20th March 2016 at 8:34 pm #11973
Thank you! I don’t contact him anymore. But since the recent rape incident, I have been listening out, in case I hear about another incident. Stupid I know! But I wouldn’t wish what he inflicted on me, on anyone else! Just wish I could scream it to the world to stay away from him, that he will destroy everything about you! But I can’t, so all I can do is listen out for anything x*x
20th March 2016 at 8:39 pm #11974
Thank you Lover of no Contact! That has really helped me to see this situation in a new light! Will keep this in mind whenever I feel low about it! Thank you for your support!
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