Using online dating to establish my own boundaries.

[Janedoeissad]

This might sound strange but I’ve joined an online dating site. A free one.

I’ve not met a single person yet but I’ve grown so much. Previously I would have accepted bad attitude as flirting or ignored lewd comments. This time? I’m practicing all I’ve learnt from the freedom programme. And I’m accepting no rubbish. I’ve also been calling people out in certain situations. People that call me Suga in the first message are not getting any of my attention and I told them so.

It’s been liberating to practice these things online. To get my confidence back and say truthfully how I feel. And I have chatted to some nice guys. None I like enough to meet but again. It’s all helping.

[backtome]

I love this, I met my ex online and back then I had no idea what a real compliment was and took any attention as positive attention.

It’s very different now, I’m not ready to start looking into dating yet as I’m focussing on me and my daughter right now, but when I do I’ll be a lot more aware of how I should be spoken (typed) to and how I want and DESERVE to be treated!

x*x

[Janedoeissad]

I’ve come to realise how much sh*t I have taken from lots of men, even strangers. A guy came and randomly hugged me once. I didn’t stop him. Even though I didn’t want him hugging me. I just stood there and let him! Silly example of how I didn’t enforce any boundaries. And that was a guy I didn’t even know!

So no more. Be polite and gentlemanly or b****r off is my new motto! Lol

[backtome]

I’m exactly the same – one of the reasons I’ve stopped my ex from staying at my house once a week is because he will hug me and/or kiss me (even though it’s obvious I don’t want him to) and I do absolutely nothing.

It’s all about respect isn’t it and making sure we get the respect we deserve and should have had from the outset. Learning to value yourself is so liberating. x

[KIP.]

I did this too. It’s liberating when you’re ready. I used it for my self confidence. Had some nice coffee dates and a couple of dinners but I don’t want it to go any further yet. I’m just happy having male friends I was never allowed. Finding new female friends too. If I’m honest I’ve got a lot more out of the new female friends. Such a laugh but there’s no website for female platonic friendship. So I started a little club of my own. I’d never have been confident enough to try this. One guy said he couldn’t meet me in a certain town because he used to live there. Red flag. I just said to forget it. If anyone has an excuse not to go out in that town it’s me lol. Yet I do. Onwards and upwards x

[Author]

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