Very lonely and full of anxiety

[Starfox]

I was never aware that my relationship was abusive because he never laid hands on me. I’m struggling to accept what people are telling me.
Me ex ended the relationship just over (detail removed by Moderator) ago however my problems arise where our daughter is concerned. She is very little and he is attempting to still control me and manipulate me in to him controlling the custody situation. I am taking all the right steps and getting legal help however I am at a stage where I don’t want to leave my house. I know he will be spreading rumours and telling everyone I am keeping his daughter from him and making me out to be nasty and I’m terrified to see anyone especially his family. I don’t know how to be strong but I have to be for our daughter. I feel so alone.

[Janedoeissad]

Welcome to the forum Starfox.

You will find some very nice people on here who can give you advice.

At the end of the day, you ARE a good person and people who truly know you will know that. Do not let the opinion of one person (and their nasty lies) stop you from living your life. Just remember that those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.

Perhaps start by going places were you are less likely to see his family, that way you can start small and get your confidence up.

Have you got yourself any help from your GP for your anxiety? Maybe some counselling will help with all that you have gone through so far?

Sending hugs

J x

[Twisted Sister]

i hope it helps if I say I can completely relate to where you are right now and that feeling of total isolation and fear. The stage that you are at now will be over soon, hopefully, and try as hard as you can to resist the temptation to be concerned about anything he says about you (BTW in court you can stipulate that this stop and he be restricted from repeating this behaviour), your true friends will come through for you, even if they are few and far between, time to believe in yourself over and above anything he can say.

[Starfox]

Thank you so much for the replies it means a lot!

It gets me down more knowing people are falling for his lies. He never did anything with our baby when we were together and when I was on maternity “it wasn’t his place because he worked” but it never changed when I did go back to work. He used to call her thick thinking it’s funny and it breaks my heart. He’s now trying to tell me it should be 50/50 custody Even though he hasn’t been interested in the past and even now he only wants her on certain days so he can go out drinking and thinks it’s acceptable to leave her with other people so he can go to the football. I wasn’t even allowed to breastfeed my baby because “his baby wasn’t doing that it’s disgusting”! He told me regularly that I was keeping her from people and I had a tight grip on her that wasn’t right and people didn’t like me.

Sorry I know his message is messy but that’s where my head is at right now and I wish I could explain everything but the message would be much too long. Why are people so nasty. I never did anything to deserve any of it.

I have put myself forward for therapy for my anxiety I’m just waiting for an appointment. He is still very much in my head no matter how much I don’t like to admit that and I feel guilty.

[Author]

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