Very new to all of this

[Lucy]

Hi, seven weeks ago I phoned the police on my husband for smashing a glass off my knee. The man I was with for (detail removed by moderator) years, married not even two years now and who I have two beautiful little girls to is now gone! Now I’m a ‘single’ mum, just found out last week that when he was up in court he pleaded not guilty to what he had done!!! Up until then I was fine as I wasn’t shocked at what he done, I thought that maybe he was changing and he would stand up and admit what he done but he just lied in court! I don’t know what to do or think. Keeping strong and holding it together for our girls but I’m just devastated…..

[Serenity]

Hi Lucy,

I am sorry to hear what you’ve been through.

You will see from reading posts here that abusers all display similar characteristics, and one is to deny their own wrongdoing ( and imagine others’ wrongdoing). Their lies are galling.

They have no sense of reality. They lie, and almost believe their own lies.

You will find lots of support here. Have you also phoned Women’s Aid for support? They could direct you to local support. X

[Ayanna]

Yep, that is what abusers do. Give a strong performance in court against him and put him in the ground. Do not feel sorry for him. Abusers have no remorse, they always present themselves as victims, they never change. I hope you are no contact and you have support. If you can, get a place in the Freedom Programme. That will help you understand how these men function and you will be able to spot abusers in the future. Keep posting. We are here for you!

[Lucy]

Thanks girls, I have phoned the helpline and the centre is arranging someone to call with me.
I think I will go ahead with court more so now because of the not guilty plea he put in… Just makes me so angry!
I genuinely thought there might be hope for us but looking at the forum it doesn’t look like they ever change…

[Author]

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