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Following on from the non-abuse victims not understanding thread…
I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been with for a while, he and his mother are fantastic and my children also adore them. Court is ongoing with my ex (almost weekly) and they have both been incredibly supportive all the way grouch.
However, my boyfriends Nan cannot help herself but to make snide comments to me about how I am lucky that someone was willing to take me and my kids on and how she never wanted this for her darling grandson!!! I’m finding it really difficult as with anyone else I’d happily explain that the abuse was not my fault or choice and leaving that environment is incredibly difficult. Just because my children and I have suffered abuse does not mean that we do not deserve love or happiness!!! It really riles me!!
How can I deal with this better as at present it is driving me insane. My boyfriends family are all very close and I do not want to cause a rift. My boyfriend has said he’d speak to her but he’s her golden boy and I don’t want their relationship to suffer.
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Dear Winterblues, is there any way that you can just ignore her comments, let them go over your head? I reckon she is old, bitter and venting to anybody, if it wasn’t you it would likely be somebody else. I think that your BF needs to fight your corner, tell his nan that he really loves you and your children and that you are happy together. Will he do that? X*X
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Hi there, keep your distance from her and remember that you lived through the abuse. You dont need her acceptance or validation. Youre still recovering from the abuse. Your self confidence and self esteem are not back to normal. Give yourself time. Its very triggering to hear things like this. He needs to have a relationship with her, you dont x
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Hi
Sorry your new partners nan is being so silly.
As others have said keep your time in her company to a minimum. Though this is not an excuse for the way she is acting I have noticed that my mother is not as diplomatic as she was when she was younger and at time selfish.
Sounds like you have a lovely new partner and a mother.
Just concentrate on those two positives.
FS xx
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