This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 4 months ago.

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  • #74375
     Landy 
    Participant

    Has anyone done one of these? Ive been asked to, but dont know where to begin….

    Apparently, I can only talk about the crime he’s been charged with, so I don’t think I can talk about all the emotional abuse and other assaults where I didn’t make a statement

  • #74379
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Landy, try looking at it that this is another battle in the war. We fight a war, one battle at a time but every time we win or lose a battle, ending the war is our final goal. Good luck sweetheart, look at how far you’ve came since first posting. Like all walks of life, sometimes we have to go back to basics in order to see how far we’ve come๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ
    IWMB ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

  • #74380
     EbonyRaven 
    Participant

    Hi Landy, they took one of these from me the night of the knife. It’s about the emotional and psychological impact this incident has had on you, and any dependents, as I’m sure you’re aware.

    Of course, the impact of this incident will have built upon anything that happened before. So you’re able to say that whereas you have been frightened of him after other incidents before, this time it has really heightened your fear to a higher level again, meaning that you double and triple check locks when you are in the house, before going to bed, or going out etc.

    Same for anxieties, or if he’s made financial problems that he created before worse. Or that you want to get locks on every internal door, or feel you can’t go into a particular room without getting a flashback now, whereas before it had’just’ given you a knot in your stomach.

    (Or whatever your own personal examples are of course.)

    The officer taking the statement will gently bring you back to the present if you wander off into past things, and they were very understanding and patient with me, even though it was about 4 am by then.

    Please don’t worry about it, there’s no right or wrong way to feel about something that’s been done to you. They’ll go through it all with you beforehand and explain it clearly too.

  • #74386
     Landy 
    Participant

    They aren’t taking a statement. I’ve just been given a bit of paper and been told to do it. I’m not scared of him. I don’t feel unsafe. My heart just hurts and all my dreams have died.

  • #74400
     EbonyRaven 
    Participant

    Oh wow they have asked you to write it yourself. I’m sorry. Also my apologies that the examples didn’t fit your situation.

  • #74405
     Landy 
    Participant

    It’s fine. I own the house and I work in a good job, so no financial difficulties either. Mind you, if they’d taken the statement themselves (detail removed by moderator) weeks ago, it just would have been easier to do. The police have been pretty hopeless really at keeping me informed or answering my questions; they normally tell me they don’t know the answer to what seem to me to be pretty basic questions, e.g. how long do I have to keep his belongings, can I only mention this incident in my statement.

  • #74441
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Landy, you don’t have any obligation to storing his things. He gets a time and day to collect or if you want drop them off at a relatives of his. My daughter asked an ex to pick his things up numerous times. Kept getting the runaround, so she bagged it up, put it outside and called his family to come and pick it up. He’d been telling them she wouldn’t let him get his stuff! Someone soon came and got it.๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

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