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    • #126290

      I rang my local women’s aid today and she talked me through their advocacy service which I think would be helpful. She said she has to do a risk assessment first and ask me 24 questions, taking 45 mins. Then if I’m classed as high risk she will make a MARAC referral. I work in (detail removed by Moderator) so I know this is a multiprofessional panel that consider risk and safeguarding and involves health, social services and the police. This scared me, luckily she had to take another call so it’s given me time to think. I don’t think my situation is high risk, as there has been no physical violence, but I’m worried now? I think I need the support though? Has anyone else done this? Last year I had a support worker but didn’t have to do a risk assessment?? Anyone had a similar experience?

    • #126292

      Do the risk assessment with her. When we are in the middle of abuse we just don’t see the danger signs. We minimise the abuse. The mental abuse was worse and much more long lasting than the physical. Take that leap of faith x

    • #126294

      Hi, yes had exactly the same experience and felt the same. But after advice from here I went with it. The MARAC happened and I didn’t hear anything about it itself or any spin offs or repercussions. I did receive incredible support from my local DA service and it is that which helped me leave ultimately. The abuse did escalate, they always say it does, I found it hard to believe too, but it did, not full out being beaten up escalation but I can definitely say it probably could have ended up that way if I hadn’t left when I did.
      I still find it very hard to believe but honestly the professionals really really do know what theyre talking about. And now since time has passed I am seeing it for exactly what it was. Trauma bonding, fear, internal stories, childhood experiences, all these things put up safety blocks in our heads to keep us “safe” (and remain in the relationship – trapped in it), but the “safe”, may just be a very primeaval “safe” as in “safe right now” – but the professionals are the ones that will help you go beyond that and to leave and be ultimately 100% safe out of the relationship. What the MARAC does is puts you on everybody’s radar, this is a very very good thing. I would definitely allow it to go ahead. You won’t regret the support. If you do you can stop it at any time, no one will force you into anything or doing anything. My support worker was very frustrated with me at times (she said after I left!), as I took so long to get my head around how dangerous the situation was and how I should get out of it. So, long answer, but go for it, they are truly incredible people. xx

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