Want to get out but no idea how….

[sunnysideup]

Hi,
I have been on here before last year about the person I currently live with, he’s not my partner anymore but still he treats me that way… I have moved out of our bedroom last year and now have my own me and my children can watch tv and eat in when hes not around. Im desperate to move out but I dont know know what to do or where to go for advice. My ex gets very stressed and when he does, he damages things, this morning for instance he found some rice that had fallen off the plate n the dishwasher so threw old meat and lots of very dirty plates in it for me to find…. this sounds trivial but hes broken and smashed alot of stuff in the two years we have been together I’ve just had enough…. Ive tried to help by getting him to see a doctor abiut his mental health but now I fell hes using it as an excuse.
My worry is, hes in alot of debt from before we got together and Ive taken out credit cards to try and help him as well as buy things on credit in my name…Im scared I wont get my money back and I havent got the money to pay for a deposit on somewhere.
I know Im rambling but I’m so stressed, Ive already had a breakdown this year and Im trying everything to keep my head straight to get me and my children out of this mess (they are not his children)
I just need a fairy Godmother to help me sort my life out 🙁

[Tiffany]

Start by calling women’s aid at a time you are safe – i.e when he isn’t in the house. It doesn’t sound trivial at all. It sounds very scary, and smashing things is counted as physical abuse. Getting you to go into debt for him is emotional abuse. And I suspect there will be other things that you haven’t mentioned that are other types of abuse. Women’s aid can help firstly by validating your experience, and secondly by helping you form a plan to get away from your abuser safely. It’s important that he doesn’t know you are trying to leave until after you are gone, as abuse tends to escalate when they sense they are losing control.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, ring WA when you are safe to do so. His behaviour is frightening, intimidating, you deserve so much better. You might not get through straight away, you can ask for a call back, you pick the times when it’s safest for them to do that. He’s financially abusing you too, getting you into debt. Don’t worry about that, that will be dealt with further down the line. The first thing is to get you and your children away from him and his wicked behaviour.
Once you’re away from him you’ll be able to breathe and think clearer. Well done for reaching out, even doing this seemingly small act is a massive step. You’re on the road to getting away from him, take one step at a time.
IWMB 💕💕

[sunnysideup]

Thank you for your help, I just feel like I will loose everything again because of him, I hate what hes doing and just want to scream to his friends to see what its doing to me. Im desperate to provide a good life for my children but also so scared of loosing everything and them not having what they need and want, 🙁 I will call tomorrow and see what and if I can do anything

[Iwantmeback]

What your children need is you sweetheart, just you. Everything else is just window dressing. Good luck for phoning tomorrow and getting the help you so deserve.
IWMB 💕💕

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