Wanting a Quiet Life

[Serenity]

I’m not in a dreadful place- I feel quite strong in my situation regarding him, and I feel quite calm.

What has changed recently is that I’ve gone from needing to be around people ( I hated being alone when my anxiety was at its worst- real monophobia) to loving being alone.

I always saw my vocation in life to be helping other people. All my jobs were focussed upon helping others. I was very much at the frontline, helping others in challenging situations.

Now, I would love nothing better than to live a really quiet life, not socialising so much and just living peacefully. I don’t even see it as imperative that my job would involve helping people.

Part of me thinks that this is fine: that maybe during the first half of my life, I gave out too much, exhausted myself, and that it’s fine to want me time. Not everyone has jobs where they are helping others directly. They don’t all feel guilty in being so! Maybe I was too self-sacrificing and other-people focussed?

But another part of me hopes that I’m not getting disillusioned and hermit-like!

Is it normal to feel as as I do? Is it ok to feel as I do?!

[Missssy]

Hi there. I think it’s perfectly fine and acceptable to feel the way you do. Definitely don’t reproach yourself for it!

It is clear from the way you post on here that you are of a very helpful and caring nature, it is your right to want some time with and for yourself! I think it has a lot to do with your spending the majority of your time helping others, in addition to what you have been through in your personal life. Allow yourself to feel this way, it’s like your instincts are telling you to get to know yourself again if that makes sense?

Just be mindful to keep in contact with those you trust and enjoy spending time with, in whatever way you feel comfortable. They don’t always have to be in your face! Just don’t want you to end up feeling isolated xx

[Author]

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