It takes time. Our brains don’t want to believe the bad bits. That would mean accepting that someone we trusted and loved was actually a monster. It’s hard to accept that. Someone we shared a life and intimate thoughts and even children. He left so often because he got a thrill about seeing you distraught and in pain. That’s why my abuser mostly leaves me alone now because he can’t harm me the way he used to. He can’t get a thrill from someone who is onto his game and won’t play it anymore. We are caring sensitive individuals who can never comprehend their selfish harmful behaviour. Everybody is wrong for an abuser. It just take time to figure that out x