Was doing so well today now I\’m back to square one :(

[Beautifulday]

So (detail removed by moderator) I had a telephone appointment with a solicitor just to see where I stand with regards to the house & if I wanted to divorce , she was very lovely offered me a free initial chat, I told her I wasn’t proceeding yet but when I decided to I will contact her again. I felt uplifted after the chat and more strong , my husband was at work and got home (detail removed by moderator).
I wanted the broach the subject of the fact im not happy and that I would buy him out instead of selling , I explained that I’m not happy as I feel I’m not allowed to do anything in the house and feel its not working. He sat looking at his phone not looking up at me , then he said so you want to kick me out? I said no but you out so you’d have a large lump sum to do whatever with. Now the other week he was telling me me to buy him out and said he’s waiting for me to do it, now all of a sudden he’s saying no, saying I’m threatening to kick him out, says he loves the house and why should he go etc etc. This is completely different to what he said the other week told me he had found a storage company for his stuff, told me he couldn’t stand me 🙁 so I just feel totally empty and sad now, he’s made me feel like the bad one saying I’m threatening to kick him out? I’m not i only brought up the option of me buying him out instead of having to sell.
Then wheh I tried to say how I feel he said he’s been working hard all week and doesn’t want to come home to me being aggressive, and can i leave him in peace. He carried on browsing his phone whilst I was just stood standing looking at him.

I feel even more trapped now:( I’m sitting crying in my back room i felt so confident earlier now I feel so low I think what’s the point. The way hes just phrased it is making me out to be aggressive and threatening. I can’t walk out as all bills and mortgage are in my name so he would be here all cushty whilst id have to pay rent elsewhere & pay my part of the mortgage for the house too. I see no way out now I feel stuck . 🙁

The only other option I can see now is to go to the solicitor say I want a divorce and just issue him the papers as I feel he thinks I’m not serious about it sorry for the long ramble I just feel so low right now

[Lotus20]

Hi beautifulday

Sorry that you are going through this and feeling trapped I know how that feels. I would say still a house is better than a baby because then it’s very very complicated and is for ever.
I think you need to take any actions that empowers you it be greeting the papers for divorce or selling the house. Just save yourself the sooner the better.
I hope you feel better soon and find away throigh this.
N

[diymum@1]

someone once gave me the following advice – never trust what an abuser tells you. that might be his scewed truth in his own mind, that is different to the real truth.you have to put yourself first now love because he wont. he will put himself first. remember abusers project themselves onto us. what he is saying is his confession.he is aggressive not you and that s why he needs to leave. i think hes moving the goal posts to throw you off kilter. he knows your upset and feel bad so why turn this on you when it him? hes in the wrong. your not trapped let the lawyer take some weight of your shoulders deal with him officially. xx i know its hard please stay strong xx

[Author]

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