So the husband has been away (removed by moderator) and it’s been so good for me. I have had space and time, I don’t feel confused I’ve been enjoying my life and son without always waiting for the next explosion or whatever from him. He’s back (removed by moderator) and I feel so totally gutted. He’s in the mind set that he’s been away had a rest and now EVERYTHING IS FINE and I think expecting me to be that way. He’s been sending lovey dovey texts and being nice. But to me until he faces up to the hurt he has caused and makes so BIG changes (which won’t happen) then all the nice texts are totally fake and mean nothing. I am DREADING him coming home. another weekend with him. Where probably this weekend he will be all nice and I don’t feel that way, I don’t want to be all loving with him after all he has done and all he has said. Before he went away we had the worst weekend almost split up. I am at the stage now where I am suggesting living apart for a few months (Mainly so I can get on my own feet on my own, be away and also seeing it as a separation helps rather than THE END, even though I sort of know it is) so I waiting for the next explosion and that’s it I am done. I am suggesting I rent somewhere and live away. I can’t do this anymore…
But of course as soon as he is back the mind games start, the confusion starts…the erosion of my confidence starts. I feel so strong right now with him not here I don’t want that confidence to go….
Devastated he is coming home 🙁