Was I just being dramatic?

[MissElls]

Hi. Iv finally found the courage to post my story..
My husband has always had a porn addiction..I only found out a few months into our marriage..My self asteem has been destroyed by it .. he always convinced me that all men watch porn and there’s nothing wrong with it despite me begging him to stop as it was destroying me …he would encourage me to go out all the time ..I thought he was just being supportive but I now know it was so he could watch porn while I was out the way..
Anyway ..a few months ago I was taking sleeping medication as I’d been struggling to sleep .. this medication sent me into a sleep paralysis state where I could hear everything around me but was physically unable to wake up …he came up to the bedroom and I could hear and feel him touching me ..he had sex with me ..(detail removed by Moderator) I could hear everything and feel everything but my body would not wake up …I was unconscious but my brain wasn’t..it was traumatising desperately trying to wake up and say stop but I couldn’t..to him I was asleep the whole time.
I guess my question is am I being dramatic?

Thanks

[Lisa]

Hi MissElls,

Welcome to the forum, I know it’s a big step to post for the first time. I’m very sorry to hear what you have been through, you are not being dramatic; what you explain is sexual assault. For sexual activity to be consensual you need to have the freedom and the capacity to consent, which you didn’t because you were asleep and under the influence of medication. He took advantage of this and what he did was a serious crime.

Please can I try to reassure you that none of this is your fault, he is the only one responsible here. You’ve been through serious trauma and you really deserve and need some support through this. Have a look on the Rape Crisis website for further information about consent and myths surrounding sexual abuse. They have a Helpline and can put you in touch with specialist support services in your area. You could also contact your local Sexual Assault Referral Centre; where you can access specialist support and counselling. To clarify, neither service would require you to have to inform the police, they would provide optional support at a pace you feel comfortable with.

Keep posting, I hope you find the forum a supportive place to be,

Lisa

[MissElls]

Thank you Lisa for your kind words. I will have a look at those links you have shared .

I told him to leave which he has ..my sister is staying with me for support. Its just going to take a while I guess..some days are hard. I miss our family we made but I couldn’t ever trust him after that .he was supposed to protect me .

Xx

[Eyesopening]

Oh hun no your not being dramatic. From the outside this is a truly outrageous, deeply upsetting and traumatic thing to go through. We can’t always see how bad it is when we are living it. But imagine reading this post and it was someone else with this story? How would you feel. Keep reaching out X*x

[Watersprite]

Hi Missellis you are certainly not being dramatic and it is natural to feel traumatised. Well done for leaving how dare he take what wasn’t his. Your body your right what happens or doesn’t to it. So pleased you have your sister and do reach out for support x

[MissElls]

Thank you for reply. I think I feel this way most probably due to gaslighting and him playing it down .xx

[MissElls]

Thank you.. Iv been on a waiting list for a few months to see a therapist ..it feels like iv been waiting for ever although I do understand some people are in greater need than myself ..I will stay strong..I have too xx

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