Was it abuse

[Wednesdaygirl]

I had been unhappy for a long time and whenever I tried to talk he always had worse problems and made me feel like mine was nothing. He used to say he was going to kick my ex husbands head in and even said that in front of my son. I was walking on eggshells all the time to the point where I used to dread my son coming back from his dads because I knew I would have a week of him going mad about his behaviour (which was not that bad). He would blank my son if he did anything he didn’t like. If I tried to disagree with him he would go mad and then not soeak to me either. When things were calm we got on but then it could change instantly. He would moan about my friends and family and I didn’t even approach going out on Ben though he says he never stopped me, I knew he would be funny about it.
He would drink and when he drank he would get argumentative and we would end up in a fight, I could not talk on the phone without him listening so my friends stopped phoning when I was at home. The final straw was one night he drank (detail removed by Moderator) and because I went to pick up my son from (detail removed by Moderator) and he was not happy and said (detail removed by Moderator) he should be getting in a train and get picked up at the station. When I had a go back at him he went mad and said he was going upstairs and was not going to talk to us. I went up to try and talk him down and he told me to F off back to my ex so I started packing my stuff and told my son to pack his stuff. He went into my sons room and said (detail removed by Moderator). We left and I didn’t go back.
He is now trying to get me back and thinks I was harsh and keeps telling me he loves me and he will kill himself because he has nothing left. If he sees me with anyone else he says he will kill them. I have moments of guilt because I have hurt someone so bad but should I be feeling like that. I need some help to understand it all.

[tiredofitall]

First of all I think you’ve been so brave to live with all that and then to leave. Yoy listened to your instincts, you know that his behaviour isn’t right and you and your son shouldn’t be walking on eggshells.
You know it’s wrong when you can’t be yourselves, you stop doing the things you used to for a quiet life
I think you know deep down that if you go back nothing will have changed. He is playing with your emotions knowing you are a good person who would feel guilty even if they don’t deserve it.
Stay strong and think of the life you want for you and your son.

[Author]

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