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Seems the only way to make clear to others 9th at my ex abused me is to give the exams of the times he physically hurt me… but those were few and minimal and I can still see why he ended up losing it with me.
The other day my dad and I argued.. he cut me off over some thing- insisted I was wrong in regards to something he’d said, he bit my mum’s head off too. So I felt wound up. I bit my lip… he stomped into the other room. Then I went into the same room to get some thing.. my toddler was whining at me and I said “oh yes in a minute” so my dad piped up saying she’s probably fedup and I should get her something to do (I was at that time getting her food- I only have two hands) since he’d shot me own over hthe other thing, i felt wound up still and like he was digging at me so I snapped at him…
Then he gets all annoyed saying I cant talk like a normal person etc and he was trying to help… aren’t I allowed to be effected by things? Was I being over sensitive… because that was what happened alllll the time with my ex… some thing wpuld happen to put me on edge.. he’d act like every thing was fine but then because I wasn’t fine- I’d be the one making a problem. Was I the problem for being argumentative? I know I can be at times… especially if I feel I’m not in the wrong, like with my dad…
So was that why my ex always left me.
He’s in a new relationship now and had already been with her longer than he was with me before he started dumping me. It brakes my heart -
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Honestly love, it sounds more like your Dad is the one with the communication issues than you. None of what happened was your fault. Men can expect women to be deferential and not to argue with them, even when they are in the wrong. They just expect it. In abusers this is taken to extremes. Abusers always think they were in the right. But even non abusive men can be like that. I put people’s back’s up because I am outspoken. Doesn’t mean I deserve to be terrorised by my partner. Same goes for you.
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I want to believe it… mostly if those situations happened with my ex, he’d dump me. Sometimes he’d come back but it was always on the condition that I learned to change and I was always on my last warning even if the warnings weren’t verbalize. I’d think we were doing ok..then suddenly some thing small would happen and he’d walk out saying it was over and what ever the small thing was ‘it was simply the last straw for him… on occasion he totallt lost his rag and strangled me or pushed me or something… but I suppose if I was that impossible to be with then I can understand why.
It’s hard to believe at all that he’s an abuser… hes been with this new one a while now and he isn’t abusing her… So perhaps he wasn’t abusive and I was the problem. I tried really hard in the past to change but I was a shell of myself. Scared to put a foot wrong and then that made him angry too. He said I was the one casuomg problems by acting as if I was scared to be myself
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