Weird Question

[Random.]

But has anyone who’s been dealing with anxiety and just feeling the complete loss of themswlves ever gone travelling again after?
I used to travel a lot with my ex, not my current partner. I miss it so much and hate myself more and more everyday for who I’ve become since I’ve been with my current partner. Im no longer the fearless happy individual I once was, which bizarre because I never really viewed myself as those things until I look back now.
I just wondered if it is just me that has felt this way or if others have? If so how did you overcome those crippling fears about doing it alone?

[Iwantmeback]

Hi,I’m finding that I’ve got the courage to travel on my own now, whereas before felt so afraid of doing it. Looking back whenever we went anywhere,I was the one who organised it, asked people if unsure of what I was doing. He on the other hand would jyst wind me up,make such a song and dance about anything and everything and generally undermine me at every turn.
Give yourself time, everyone of us takes a different approach to healing and timeline.
Big hugs
IWMB 💞💞

[Anonymous]

You may never be the person you were before, but in a way that’s natural. We all change. I can’t be the person I was x years ago before I met my ex. However, tiny steps and it is possible to be more like yourself. Have faith, patience and do try to be loving for yourself. Recovery is not easy.

[KIP.]

Yes yes yes. For ages I couldn’t go anywhere alone. Especially trains. But I took a while now I can hop on and off without a second thought. Before the abuse I’d fly on my own. Drive round London. Abuse strips us of so much confidence but it will return slowly x just be patience and it will happen. Time and zero contact are what’s needed. Make yourself a goals board. Stick pics of what you want to do and where you want to go and look at it every day.

[Iwantmeback]

I love that idea Kip, I’m going to do that fir 2020.💞

[Random.]

Sorry for such a late response I haven’t been able to come on here much with him around so much being paranoid about me speaking to others.
You’ve all got brilliant ideas I love yours kip about putting up inspiring pictures to keep you reminded why you want to get out and travel again! It does seem like the scariest idea ever and I feel I would just fail if I tried but we’ve all been through so much so why wouldn’t we want to do better for ourselves! You’re so right too Iwantmeback, it does seem terrifying doing it alone and I have so much admiration for you accomplishing it and adoring it! I will try to find the strength you did and not let him hold me back as it sounds your ex did. My partner also never plans anything travelling wise although he knows it means the world to me, he always says he wants to do it but something always comes up and he just wastes money on alcohol or drugs instead its so frustrating.

[Catjam]

I met him when I was really young and although I have always wanted to travel I haven’t. he encouraged me to learn to drive, but then when ever I drove anywhere with him in the car he would point out my mistakes. I was terrified of the motorway but again he encouraged me to do it more, teaching me to do it. So much so I felt brave enough to take my sister to Liverpool. The night before however he started saying things to make me doubt my driving. What if I crashed, got lost etc. I still went though and had an amazing time.

[MeOnScreen]

Hi Random!
I was actually travelling alone when my abusive ex broke up with me (for the 9th time).
I didn’t think I would be able to deal
With it like every other time but it made it so much easier.
Seeing such amazing beautiful places made me really appreciate and realise the things that matter and how happy I can be on my own. I would definitely recommend it. I’m actually thinking about going back out to NZ next year as it’s my favourite place in the world.

Please go travel and see how amazing you are on your own

[Random.]

Ah I’m sorry to hear that catjam, it does seem like sometimes they can be the kindest and most supportive people at first, or appear to be, then just slowly start chipping away at everything you do.
Unfortunately over time we start to believe that we can’t do anything for ourselves anymore..
Well done for being able to get out and doing what made you happy though! You proved him wrong and you can do whatever you put your mind to!
Hi MeOnScreen, wow that does sound exhausting going through the ups and downs with your break up.
You are very brave being able to cope with it all by yourself to when travelling abroad! I have had that before and I too was travelling New Zealand when it happened that’s how I met my ex which turned out to be the best relationship I’ve ever had! That’s also why I’m quite sad because I just wish I could have the relationship I had with him again, as awful as it sounds to my current partner.
Maybe I just deserve to be unloved or alone.

[Iwantmeback]

Since I’ve left him the funny thing is he says I’m a great driver yet when I was with him he made out like I was a beginner and was going to kill us at any moment. I’ve been to NZ as well,it’s beautiful. Going back in a few years, started saving already though need a new passport, need to wait and see how Brexit plans out eh ladies!!!

@Random, you are lovable and being on your own isn’t a bad thing. Once we stop brainwashing our children that that’s the only important thing in this world is to be married and have children, then being alone won’t seem such a negative thing to be.
Best wishes IWMB 💞

[Author]

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