Try to remember how it was when he was there on days out. Did you feel stressed, hurried? Was he hard to please, unkind, neglectful, abusive?
Did he make a real effort to make each day or event really special for you and your kids? Or did he just take your energy, expecting you to entertain and run around after him, and get annoyed when he wasn’t the focus?
Did he try to wreck nice events, especially ones you had planned or gone to a lot of effort for?
Now you are free to go at your own pace, and focus in you and the boys and your own experiences in life.
It takes time to get used to being alone in the family set up, and venturing out can be a painful reminder of the new circumstances, but you will grow in strength and build new memories to replace the old ones xxxxx