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I’m home now, which is eery, scary, and lonely, I miss him terribly, but he isn’t allowed near, how long either of us can manage is anybody’s guess.
But am exhausted mentally, none of this is easy, as I did tell the police about the multiple rapes, I didn’t know why I did, but since early this morning, (detail removed by Moderator) all of which made me feel so sick, I came home and since half 5 hot bath’s, which I can tell you, hurt so much as burns screamed at me, but I guessed pain makes me remember what he did,
Am trying not to back track, but fear, and my head are fighting with me.
Hope you are all well x*x -
Dear Brokendreams. I hope that you are ok. I don’t know if you saw, but I mentioned something on your last post about maybe helping you get into a women’s refuge if you wanted that. X*X (I put a post on here recently, its called Postive Resources to help you through this). In this post there are some weblinks for trauma bonding/missing them. It helps you to understand the psychology of missing them and why it happens. I’m so pleased that you have spoken to the police, you have done the right thing. X*X
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Hi healthyarchive,
Yes I was offered refuge, but its my home, not his, and even with fear, I don’t want to hide, I think with the whole rape am feeling dirty and unclean, but not with bf, it’s his friends, now been told that I could be pregnant, but as long as the burns tolerate my bathing am ok x*x -
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You have been incredibly brave and I’m so glad you managed to tell the police, but I’m concerned about whether his friends will be kept away also. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be alone after all this. You need and deserve so much support. I hear what you say about your home, but you have been more than brave enough and I really think you should consider refuge to ensure you are safe and supported x*x
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I didn’t realise his friends actually raped me, was the hospital who talked me through I was actually raped ( even though I am dubious that it’s rape),
I was discharged on (detail removed by Moderator), IDAS still hadn’t contacted me, so returned home, (detail removed by Moderator) he arrived with friends and assaulted me, including branding me, so I HAD to go to a&e, which resulted in the police becoming involved, so yes (detail removed by Moderator), can’t contact me, but if wasn’t for incidents (detail removed by Moderator) evening, I doubt I would have contacted the police, x*x -
Oh brokendreams, you came home and he assaulted you, this is horrific, so glad you called the police and that he was arrested, its terrible that IDAS have not contacted you, i cannot bear to think of you alone and suffering, keep posting and pm if you need to. Do you know when the court case will be. Have you had a pregnancy test done.
do take care xxxxx -
Please get him out of your life, he really is treating you so badly. Its often so difficult to see when we are in the thick of it, we just don’t see it. But all of us see it, he is so bad for you. Using you, hitting you, intimidating and scaring you, treating you like a joke to his friends. You cannot underestimate the damage this is causing to your self worth, you may not realize it now but this could take you years to recover from.
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Dear Brokendreams, your situation reminds me a bit of myself when I was younger, in my teens. I had my own flat it was a lovely flat. I met a man, he was so physically violent, one day I laid on the floor and he was kicking my body. He would spend time at my flat and give me nothing or contribute anything towards it. He invited his friends around without asking me, they all smoked cannabis in my flat. He caused ASB with my neighbours which eventually caused me to lose the flat. He was so violent. We got a dog and he was cruel to the dog to discipline it. I have been a sex plaything for men when I was just an innocent shy girl. I got rid of this (detail removed by Moderator) after he kicked me in the head and the body. I was pregnant and (detail removed by Moderator) i had a miscarriage. He did not even visit me in hospital. He was such a nasty piece of work. Please get rid of the man you are with.
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Hi brokendreams,
I really don’t think you should be alone. You have been through so much. Is there anyone you could be with? I know he isolated you from family and friends. I will be thinking of you tonight. Could you phone W.A. and tell them you are alone living in your house after what you’ve been through?
Please keep linking in with us for support.
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Am I blocked?
Been trying the ndvh for a while now, just goes to call back every time, maybe my fault? Maybe they’ve blocked my number? Can’t leave it call back as unsure when time frame safe.
No I don’t have friends or family only bf, but now I really feel alone, and think my fault why IDAS hasn’t contacted me . -
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Im sure you are not blocked they are really busy all the time, leave your number and ask then to call you, they work 24 hours they will listen and understand, if you are alone anytime is safe. Its not yourfault at all tha idas havnt been in touch did the hospital not check why for you, they should not have sent you home without really, did the hospital know you would be alone. You can also call the samaritans 24 hours they will talk to you,you can tell them anything and its confidential try ndvh again as well xxxx
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Hi Brokendreams
I am glad that you are home. I hope that your pain goes away soon and that you will recover from this awful situation.
Sending all my love xox
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Thank you womaninneed x*x
Finally IDAS has contacted me via email, but they said they want to do a assessment, and can I go to office, but still a bit afraid going out, would they meet me at my doctors surgery? As I’d feel safe there, have sent a email asking, plus not sure what a assessment involves, or why I have to have one, but least they’ve contacted me xx
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Hi brokendreams,
Hope you had a peaceful enough day as you say a break from all the talking about what happened. As you have been through so much physically and emotionally you will need lots of rest, relaxation with no chaos. I really wish you weren’t on your own but that’s good the domestic abuse support team got back to you. I would explain about meeting them somewhere that’s easy for you. Remember you also have that concerned neighbour who you could contact if you needed.
Isn’t it good today though you didn’t have to cook for him (only to have him criticise it) and spend all day cleaning (despite having injuries) and no one moaning at you, putting you down or even worse. Peace and quiet where you can just focus on you and mind you.
Keep posting. You may be physically alone. But you have many online survivor-sisters, to emotionally support you as you start to live a new life free from abuse.
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