What about the kids

[RXRX]

He says a lot for me to leave with my children from previous relationship but says I can’t take the 2 I have with him.

He is generally a good dad to his own but has recently not got time or day for his step children and they realise this. He is up and down with them especially my (detail removed by Moderator) son. It’s like he hates him at times. He even says that’s how he feels.

My questions are;
how would access work?
Where would I go as I have no money?
If I go to refuge will he get custody as he has lots of money?

[Bananaboat]

My ex did this to my eldest, he slowly but surely discarded that child & treated them differently. He’d threaten to take our shared child, say that I couldn’t leave with them, that he’d be the main carer etc. Since leaving he’s ghosted my eldest and barely sees his child. It’s all about power and control. If you haven’t already reached out then maybe have a chat with the WomansAid chatline or see about getting some legal advice. x

[swanlake]

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Have you contacted any domestic violence services for advice and reassurance?
Sadly abusers do take any opportunity to divide families against each other and use the children.
I’ve found a book called Living with the Dominator so helpful in my situation.
Sending lots of love to you.

[RXRX]

Do they eventually do this to their own?

Is emotional abuse even grounds to leave and go to a refuge? Like what kind of evidence will I need?

Do they actually get access? If I stay then at least I can kind of regulate his moods and keep the kids partially out of his way I guess.

[Author]

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