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    • #167380

      I’ve two children with my husband, if I’m to leave what should I do?
      I think he’s an alcohol problem, I think he’s taking cocaine at the weekends too but can’t proof this, I’d be scared to leave me children with him if I left, I’m scared to leave them now, or even ask him to drive them anywhere in case he has been drinking?
      How would I stand regarding this.
      I know if I left he would try and ruin everything for me and turn people against me. I think he’s try turn the kids against me, although they are still are youngish.
      He’s shouted at me (detail removed by Moderator) for asking him to be more positive and to not be so rude to me and the kids, he’s taken great offence to me saying this, ‘how dare I pull him up on anything, after everything I’ve done?’ and I did try say it in this nicest way possible. He’s gone crazy with me (detail removed by Moderator), tried to strangle me again but luckily he heard my eldest upstairs
      I don’t know what to do, I just can’t trust him with this kids, he does work hard but I am like a single mum in the marriage so it wouldn’t make too much change to m looking after the children.

    • #167399
      Main Moderator

      Hi Pineapplepie,

      Thank you for sharing with us. The abuse you are experiencing sounds very distressing for you- strangling is very frightening and dangerous. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for support and to explore your options.

      You may want to consider going to a refuge for yours and your children’s safety. The Survivor’s Handbook has information and FAQ’s about going to a refuge- Survivor’s Handbook.

      Are you in contact with your local domestic abuse service? They can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support to help you to plan to leave safely. They will understand how overwhelming it is to reach out for support and to talk about abuse. If you need details of your local service then you can find details here.

      If you would like to talk to a Support Worker about your options via our Live Chat then this can be found here. The Live Chat is open every day 8am-6pm weekdays and 10am-6pm weekends.

      Keep posting to let us know how you are. We are here for you.

      Best wishes,


    • #167404

      Thank you for replying, I’m not in touch with any organisation, nobody knows, I’ve friends and family but I just can’t tell them, maybe the neighbours know but I’ve not told anyone. He wants to talk to me later u. The week because he says that I don’t understand. I honestly don’t know what I’ve done, other than question him on two things?
      I’ve not been the perfect person in the past but I’ve learnt, changed and grown

    • #167418

      Do reach out to some local organisations. They do help.
      When I got directed to this website, it has been my lifeline.

      I started with the online chat. The women who I spoke to to have been amazing and directed me to some local organisations. They’ve given me great advice on so many things. Like have an emergency plan. How to stay safe, what to do when I am ready to leave. Legal advice and even counselling.

      And now this forum is amazing because all the survivors are making it amazing.

      Take care and stay safe xx

    • #167428

      Thank you, it feels so scary to think of leaving. I’ll start with the online chat x

    • #167430

      One step at a time. xx

    • #167432

      I know it feels scary Pineapplepie , its a big thing to do , even when it’s needed and the right thing, and it’s hard to start telling people.
      I left a little while ago, but it took me a while and a few false starts… its really a big thing. Even having left there are still things to deal with but it’s not the 24/7 of it I was living in before…
      Start by getting support for you- online chat and your local DA services is a really good first step to start letting someone in on what’s been going on . You can reach out at your pace but I’d really encourage you to talk with someone (even anonymously ) . You’ve taken a really brave step in posting here. The strangling is very scary , must have been terrifying for you. You haven’t done anything wrong .
      Keep reaching out.

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