What do I need to do?

[TeaTeaTea]

Hi,

I have a week off work coming up and my partner will still be working for some of that week, so I want to make the best use of that time.

I’ve emailed with regards to getting housing advice and legal advice.

Is there anything else I could be doing? Private rented might be an option, is it worth looking at some properties?

Thanks for any help!

[freedomtochoose]

Hello TTT,

Not sure what your exact situation is right now.

First place is probably phoning Women’s Aid. Don’t know if you want to leave or plan to stay – but keeping yourself safe is a top priority. It can be a challenge to get through to them. Hopefully you will be able to arrange a meeting in a neutral place and go through safety plan with them.

Depending on which route is more appropriate for you to do – I wouldn’t dismiss social housing and automatically go for rented. You may be entitled, depending on what the housing policy is. Nothing wrong with making a general enquiry either online or at housing office.

You could also check out private – part of your journey to build a new life, familiarising yourself with prices, if deposit needed etc.

Finances become more crucial now. Getting ‘all your ducks in a row’ as it were.

other lodies on here may have other ideas

ftc
x

[freedomtochoose]

Just visited the other thread and read my message back (above).

From the way that I’ve written it it might sound as if that is very simple to do, but actually it isn’t.

And it wasn’t simple for me either, for similar reasons to you. Mainly what they call the FOG of abuse.

i.e. fear, obligation, guilt – psychological impact of it.

I went backwards and forwards for weeks, looking back on it now, I can see it. But I couldn’t then.

There is a way out, as other ladies say. There is a new life waitng for you out there.

I too, wish you didn’t have to be part of this club. But there are sunnier skies ahead, believe me.

All bset
ftc
x

[Anonymous]

Definitely call WA. And don’t let him know you’re looking to leave for your own safety.

[Iwantmeback]

I’ve been getting rid of unnecessary paperwork, taking clothes to charity, clearing out unused dishes. Put my name down for a council house with WA help. Spoke with local WA solicitor for some financial advice.

[fizzylem]

Good for you TTT, just to echo above, please have a safe exit, abusers often ramp up the abuse when a woman leaves, as he knows/fears he is losing his grip. Can be a dangerous time – don’t underestimate him, this can be a common occurance – a bad situation turning into a worse one – very few women see this coming.

I would say tot up your pennies, workout what’s doable and dare to dream – ask yourself, how would I like it to be? A big part of the healing process is to get the life you want. Once you know what this is then every step will take you a bit closer hey.

Please yourself as much as you can while you’re off, savour how this feels – and then draw from these moments when you need to in the coming weeks xx

[Author]

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