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For the past few weeks, i have been tormented and disrespected more than ever. He absolutely hates me. Some days despises me even. He will say the most hurtful things so casually , worse than before. He refuses to go out with me and our child because he’s doing everything to avoid me. He is living in the house like we aren’t together. He won’t talk, will ignore me, dismiss me. Even in front of others and our child.
He has also turned me into a maid. He does nothing absolutely nothing even when I ask him to buy something from shop.
He wants to spend time with our child alone, without me. He is overly affectionate and nice to her while treating me so disgustingly at the same time. Is this emotional manipulation? Talking to me through her as he refuses to interact with me. Won’t even look at me even when I talk to him he will just ignore me infront of our child.
I had enough one day told him why doesn’t he leave if he hates me so much but he turned it back on me . I think he’s trying to drive me out? I am also scared is he planning something such as taking our daughter because he has said things about me as a mother which is new. I am scared he will leave and demand to see our child which I am not comfortable doing.
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It’s heartbreaking to hear what’s going on for you @Toofarr . His behaviour is disgusting. You deserve so much better than this especially when he’s talking to your child normally and not talking normally too you . It does sound like he’s trying to make you go rather than you stay . If it’s at all possible could you seek some advice so that you don’t have too leave . I understand your heart ache it’s understandable. I hope you can get some help from somewhere you have rights . It’s so hard for us at the sharp end . Local womens aid are supposed to be brilliant.
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Hi lovely, we’ve spoken privately and I’ve given you as much info as probably I can without bombarding you. (detail removed by Moderator). They always want to be portrayed as the victim and so usually they hype things up so that you leave them and then they can act like they were hard done by.
Speaking to you through your child is awful and although you say he’s being kind to your child, this sounds actually to be using them to abuse you, so if anything it’s a very bad father who doesn’t seem to understand the emotional impact abusing you has on your daughter.
Gather the evidence you need, take time to build the fire inside of you and the strength and when you are ready to leave, take you and your daughter out of this situation and start living your life. They dominate your head24/7 it’s hard to think of anything other than their behaviour and the eggshells etc. you will become a better mother, and be living your life again. Being in an abusive relationship isn’t living, when you leave the cage (you will do this when you are ready) you will see just how suffocating it all was, I stayed For many many many years, and now as hard as it can be to navigate them when you leave, it’s worth it for peace, to sit in your own home and be able to take a deep breath, go where you want, speak to who you want, I can’t wait for the day we see your posts on here saying you are free, so much love to you x x x x
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As others have said they have to be the victim, and they have this trick up their sleeve whereby they treat us so badly we have no choice but to leave. Then – boom! We’re the bad guy because we left them and they get to play the victim card. My ex behaved a lot like you describe at the end, it’s heartbreaking to live in and weaponises your home & child, so look after yourself. He’s highly unlikely to move out unless forced or has a new supply of some kind lined up. xx
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@Toofarr , I wanted to apologise because my responses aren’t always very helpful. Unfortunately I’m not very bright/ clever . I wasn’t a bright student etc so unfortunately my responses are very intellectual. Hope you can accept my apology.
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@Toofarr , I should have put my responses aren’t very intellectual. This is how thick I am . Sorry 😞.
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