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    • #88835

      my children and I have come to a refuge far from our home town . I think I was in state of shock for a while and not really settling in . I haven’t really spoke much to the support workers as they just seem to let us get on with it . I have a home and was wondering what people’s experience with management moves are I’ve not really heard about before I got here . do I have to get one back in my own area or do I stay here ? . I just really got made to apply for universal credit and housing benefit which is all new to me as I was working before. how long do I stay here anyone had any quick moves of am I looking at months . I thought I’d have more support in here as I am not really in a good place and just want to get stronger for my kids and move on to a have a life that’s worth living and get me back .

    • #88854

      Hi woefulconfusion

      I am pleased to hear you are living in a safe environment with your children. It is challenging to leave everything behind and it does require a lot of courage accomplishing this milestone so well done, you can be very proud of yourself, of your efforts. I understand your motivation to rebuilding your lives and you will one step at a time darling.

      Two things will happen now; recovering, resting and recharging your energy by taking care of basic self-care needs such as getting adequate amounts of sleep and feeding yourselves with good nutritive meals. You’ll receive emotional support from staff and other co-habitants in communal spaces, go and seek contact by getting a cup of tea and tell them how you feel. Some will be able to offer understanding and support because they have been where you are now.
      And second, when you are ready you’ll discuss a plan for your future and their staff will assist you. You are the one approaching them and I would do so often, to get things moving, at least once a week, request a meeting and ask all of your questions, write them down and take notes of their answers.

      For more detailed information you can check their website Refuge org uk
      I copied pasted the main questions and answers below; you could also call the helpline on here to get more information.

      What can refuge staff help with?
      Refuge staff are on hand to support each resident with her individual needs. This might include supporting women with:

      Safety planning
      Finding a safe new home
      Budgeting, debt discussions and discussing access to welfare benefits
      Accessing health services
      Finding nurseries and schools
      Accessing local community and cultural services
      Gaining legal advice, including accompanying women to appointments and court
      Training, education and employment
      Staff also provide women with emotional support. They understand what she has been through and will help to make sense of what is going on. They will not judge or tell a woman what to do. Our staff give women time and space to make their own decisions.

      How long do women stay?

      Women stay in our refuges for as long as they need to stay. Some women stay for a few days, others stay for months while they wait for accommodation in a new community. Our experts help women to find new, permanent accommodation for themselves and their children.

      Who will help me find my feet?

      All refuges have trained staff who are there to help you settle in and apply for welfare benefits. They can also support you with a range of other practical issues, such as registering with a local doctor or school, contacting solicitors, and dealing with immigration issues.

      Staff are also there to support you emotionally. They understand what you have been through and will help you to make sense of what is going on. They will not judge you or tell you what to do. They want you to have the time and space to make your own decisions.

      One worker will be your key worker. She will meet you at least weekly to make sure you are receiving the support you need. You can discuss any concerns or worries you may have with her. It is up to you to choose how much support we give you. We are there to guide and empower but the process is ‘owned’ and directed by you.

      Sending you hugs 💕

      Keep posting

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