What if the children beg ?

[Tuppance]

When we tell the children we are separating and it’s because it’s what I want , what do I say if they beg me to give their dad another chance? I have only just thought of this and it is terrifying me. I don’t love him anymore for all that he has done. I can’t tell them that – it would be so unfair on them. X

[KIP.]

I don’t know what age they are. I would not try to hide or cover for their dads behaviour. I would also be separated when I told them. Physically separated. Has he moved out yet? My ex said he would move out but never did. He hung around and made our lives hell until he was arrested for assaulting me. Kids are quite resilient. I bet they won’t be too surprised. Why are you telling them it’s what you want? Sounds like he has an agenda of using the kids and blaming you right from the start. How about telling them that you won’t tolerate abusive behaviour and you have made every effort to make things work but his behaviour is intolerable. It’s making you depressed and ill and you will all be much happier in a happy home. You have to be strong. If they ask you to give him another chance, tell them he has had many many chances and his behaviour hasnt changed. He has brainwashed you by using the children’s feelings if you separate. I was like you in the beginning but kids just get on with their own life. Eventually moving out anyway. Get a women’s aid worker to keep you on the right path x

[Tuppance]

Thankyou KIP. I panicked – there was so much love from both the kids towards us as they had been away on holidays. I found it overwhelming that this excitement to see their dad – I would be taking that part of their day away from them by having him move out. I know it’s just a matter of days before he is moody with our eldest. Our youngest adores him even though she has seen him be horrible – she is too young to understand. I am so scared. X

[Confused123]

Hey Hun

I know how u feel , my eldest was a lot older and beg me for 8 months to go back to his dad, but u know what i stood by my words, that me and his dad cant live together as we dont get on, he hurt me lots and there is no respect left and that makes gfamily life very horrible, hence why we left. Stick to your decision , they do come around and we all live happily now in stead of that toxic environment. Even by staying chidlren are impacted and emotionally damagesd and learn the bad habbit thinking this is normal, hence leave now. I have seen people split with small children, older children, it doesn tmatter how old they are it will hurt them, i peronlaly feel the younger they are the better as they are effected less as they see less. Do not feel guilty and leave and enjoy your new life

[Author]

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