7th August 2021 at 8:25 am #129731Daisy FairydustParticipant
Just wanted to write something positive for those of you wondering about refuge.
I started my journey to freedom about (detail removed by Moderator) ago, initially I refused to even think about refuge, I had really negative connotations about it but once I built a better relationship with my Women’s Aid worker and she told me my options I started to consider it. With two older teenage children I w as worried that they couldn’t come with me and at that point I would’ve stayed in the abusive relationship.
My worker advised me that they had satellite safe houses and if I was interested would put me on the list. Some of these safe houses are community based so it’s almost like you are hidden in plain sight. It took a few months for one to become available once I’d set my mind to fleeing. I moved quite a bit of my own stuff out in drips and drabs so that he didn’t notice. I had no idea whether it was a flat or house so was pleasantly surprised when I visited my new accommodation, 3 bedrooms and a back & front door.
‘D’Day took some amount of strength and courage, I couldn’t just walk out the door on the day as we were in lockdown and he was always at home. I did the one thing we are advised not to do and I told him, gave the kids a choice to come too which they did. Whilst it was brutal, my friend came to help so that I was safe but my kids witnessed him shout, swear and throw things at me as we packed up two cars to leave.
We’ve been away now for (detail removed by Moderator), still in the safe house, the social housing situation in my area is brutal but I’m a true believer in just letting things pan out the way they are meant to.
I still have a bit of anxiety and PTSD, I took (detail removed by Moderator) months off work – my employer has been great but my future is looking so bright – I start Uni next month and I’m free.
All the support I get from Women’s Aid and Victim Support is unbelievable, I have weekly catch-ups with my worker, the kids have their own support worker specifically for youths. Over the summer period we’ve been given vouchers for our favourite restaurant, just eat, we’ve been given mobile broadband because the broadband at home wasn’t supporting me working from home, my youngest child has been given a laptop for school work. I can never repay the support we’ve been given and I know we aren’t expected to but I will be eternally grateful to WA. Once I’m through the other side and settled I plan on doing some fundraising for the local WA that have helped me and my children (dogs and cats too).
My message was really just to give people thinking about refuge some hope. It’s the scariest leap of faith I’ve ever done but honestly it’s given me my future back.
7th August 2021 at 9:25 am #129733TryingtofindhopeParticipant
This is a such a wonderful and honest post. Thank yiu for sharing your experience. I was just wondering did you use the freedom project for your pets? This is one thing that worries me a lot because my dog is very anxious
7th August 2021 at 11:19 am #129736Daisy FairydustParticipant
I was really lucky that the coordinators for my safe house let me take my pets, it was one thing that made me anxious too. Honestly I feel incredibly lucky at the moment, don’t get me wrong there is still stuff hanging over me like divorce proceedings and finding alternative accommodation but this safe space has just given me so much peace. I love it. Xx
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