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Hello all,
Hope you’re all as ok as you can be. I’ve been quiet for a little while.
I allowed myself to believe things could change a little bit. He has started counselling and has been kind and calm and saying he wants us back, we had some nice conversations and it felt nice. We agreed there will be no living together for at least a certain amount of months.
Anyway, you know it: there was another event. Triggered because I felt so unwell and asked for more help with the kids. The verbal abuse escalated, went on and on, wouldn’t stop until I rang the police. First time I’ve ever done that. I’ve threatened a lot and he’s always told me to. So it’s logged. It was awful, I was so upset. But even now a few days later, I am finding myself craving him, making excuses, and wondering if I over exaggerated. Still hoping for a happy ever after. Why can’t I move on? I seem to be losing strength the longer we’re separated. -
You sound so like myself. The police got called previously by my neighbour due to his verbal abuse. He had given me black eyes before and she was scared he would do it again. The strangest thing was i felt sorry for him even though he had caused me all this humilation. I missed him and believed he didn’t mean it n minimized it in my own head. Now months on he is still doing it n i was on the verge of calling the police myself but im too shy and don’t like a fuss do didn’t. I fid manage to get him to leave tho so it’s ended and i am determined not to go back on the merry go round of abuse . – You would not have called the police unless you felt bullied and dominated and knew you were getting treated in an unacceptable abusive way you were not in control of. Involving the police was you just wanting it to stop. It’s a last resort and the fact you were pushed to that shows he is more interest in being the dominator and getting to feel all powerful than in caring about you feeling safe. Is thst real love. It’s not. It’s control. I found out my parrner has previously got a criminal record for emotional abuse through Claire’s law and that he has injured a previous partner. I believed all his b******t about i’m his solumate and he has never loved anyone like me. This is why he is so jealous he told me. It was obviously sll lies n he will try and control any woman in this way. Try practicing self love. Get happy on your own. Admit the bad times won’t stop as they are not interested in changing. If they wanted to change they would have stopped abusing us by now. It will recur. The relationship ending foes not mean you hsve to stop loving the good side of that person. You csn love that side forever but it means living with thst person is damaging to you. You deserve better. (Link removed by Moderator) . I find his videos give me stength to keep my boundsries in place. It may help you too. Don’t blame yourself though because it’s not your fault. It’s his.
Sending lots of 💖 and hugs x*x
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Thank you so much @tiredanddrained
You speak a lot of sense, and I know it deep down. I just have to stay strong.
Hope you’re ok.
Please do ring the police yourself in future. Xx
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