- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by Dededaisy.
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2nd December 2019 at 11:02 pm #92810DededaisyParticipant
Hello, I am no longer in physical contact with my ex- however he still tries to contact me online. I have tried to block him but I struggle to bring myself to do it. I will receive messages calling me a s**g s**t w***e and I will think in my head it’s all my fault I deserve this. Honestly, this forum has helped me so much lately. Every night in bed I feel this is the only safe space I have where I can say whatever and not feel judged. Has anyone tried counselling? Do you think that will help? It’s getting to the point where I’m struggling to eat, I’m so stressed, I just feel worthless. I have zero confidence anymore. I look at old pictures and I’m not the person I once was. Does this get easier? This pain I have doesn’t even hurt anymore it’s become normal to me- is this what they do? I’m was never hit by my ex (my other ex would punch me, tho) but I feel the emotional abuse has left a permanent mental scar on me.
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3rd December 2019 at 6:15 am #92815KIP.Participant
Absolutely seek out counselling. Speak to your GP. What you described is exactly what I felt and it will take some time to recover. Zero contact is really important. If you can’t block him yet, can you report his behaviour to the police? What he’s doing is illegal and stalking and the police can warn him. Taking back control helped me get my confidence back. Also, speak to your local women’s women’s aid. They have lots of experience. Try blocking him for five minutes and build up the time. I know the anxiety this brings but it’s worth persevering. I’m reading Healing From Hidden Abuse. But The Body Keeps The Score is a good book about how,we retain trauma. Living with the Dominator is about how abuse works.
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3rd December 2019 at 6:32 am #92817IwantmebackParticipant
Hi, I’m getting counselling through my gp. Not all counsellors get it,so when it if you do choose to get help, don’t be afraid to change the one you get if you don’t gel. I still feel I’m wasting their time, they I should be able to cope, but it’s about making sense of it all for yourself, I don’t think it’s really about trying to understand why he did it, what makes him tick, that’s fir him to get counselling for and we sell know they’ll never do that unless as a means to prove he’s changed it to’win you back’. Counselling is a long process, sadly sessions on the NHS aren’t as long as done need. Ive had 7 going on 8, but I think I’ll be getting near the end of the sessions, too many people need the services for it to be along lasting.
Put your name forward,depending on the area you live in can determine the length of time you’ll wait too. In the meantime, keep posting, read as much ad you can, knowledge is power and every day you’ll grow stronger.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞-
3rd December 2019 at 10:12 pm #92863DededaisyParticipant
Thank you for your reply. I’m feeling slightly better today.
Yesterday was just unbelievable. I felt so low. I get so frustrated with myself because it’s like I can’t control how I’m feeling- my mood depends on how he feels. I’m going to look into counselling. I feel like it‘a going to be a long time before I can start trusting men again xx sending love back xx
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