22nd June 2016 at 1:06 pm #19831
It has struck me that their may be a massive void at some point in the future in society, a vast group of angry abusive men is worrying. There is a lot of help & support available now for women to avoid,break free & recover from abuse, but where will the men’s anger go? Unless there are perpetrator recovery groups available ,i don’t think men approach therapy & self-help like women do. Maybe it would be helpful for a forum like this to be available for perpetrators to air their anger but I cannot see that ever happening.
22nd June 2016 at 2:24 pm #19836SaharaDParticipant
Very little support. It requires a deep psychological change and constant work to prevent relapse.
The group setting seems to fail these men because they just say nothing in front of other men, hide their emotions or at worst swap notes of how to get more power and control.
If there is a substance abuse or mental health issue that also needed to be addressed.
The biggest worry is that if their belief structure and thought process is similar to that of a psychopath, there is no known cure for psychopathy. Many doctors have tried and failed.
It also doesn’t help that the patriarchal society that we live in allows them to get away with their behaviour time and time again. The default position seems to be remove the woman as if she was the problem. Not accepting that you still have a possible woman killer loose in society. They hide their feelings from society especially their rage and then release it on the woman closest to them being their partner or their mother.
This doesn’t even cover LGBT relationships where abuse is also very sadly real.
22nd June 2016 at 2:39 pm #19838
There is a webiste called respect who have details of perpetrator courses across the country, men can have a 30 minute free call to talk to them there is also an American website which I cant name on here as it gets removed that is a community support for men who really want to change , there are some other groups in various areas, but the men have to really work hard , come out of denial and really really want to change I have two books by American men who did change, they now run an organisation now that helps not only the the perpertrators but the whole family affected by the abuse, this country is way behind in offering help as ever although the men really do have to want to change and its not that often they do, I was told by the men who helps run this organisation that some mmen really do get helped but others attend an 18 month course and still are in denial.
They work on the fact that the men have arrested developement due to something that happened to them that was traumatic.
22nd June 2016 at 3:04 pm #19842
I think it’s a problem in society which is likely to become a very big problem as there will be a huge number of women free of abuse thanks to the help of Womens Aid etc, but the issues have not been addressed with the mens anger. Surely the authorities will introduce more services for abusive men in the future to help them deal with the change in the sexes and the positive advancement of women in society. I think it stems from women these days being less reliant on men, a lot of women live alone, earn good money & don’t need men like we used to. This must leave a lot of men feeling redundant, I can feel it in day to day life. I think my ex had a goal to destroy me, perhaps it was a challenge for him.
22nd June 2016 at 4:38 pm #19850
DV does not seem to matter to the govertment all, in my are my council fund nothing at all even to help Women , SS told em that ,it such a negletced area yet the figures for the number of call outs for police show how prevelant it has become. My local WA counceliing service ha sno funding so had had to shut down, think of what its cost in SS , cafcass, courts, counceling, medication for ladies to help them cope and if they targeted the ones coursing it it would be much more cost effective , they do fund some courses for perpertratrs wher the courts and chidren are involved but if there arnt children the courses are pretty expensive and if the courts make them go they may not even do it because they really want to change just to stay out of prison or see their children but if a man really doesw want to change there is littl out there
22nd June 2016 at 9:06 pm #19866
i can see this being a huge problem in the future, with services available for women to get over the abuse, the abusers will have nothing, still left with their internal rage and nowhere to vent it. Perhaps it will force some to change, or they might go underground which is even more scary. Men need to learn about equality and respect, not power and control.
22nd June 2016 at 10:37 pm #19885
22nd June 2016 at 10:51 pm #19888AyannaParticipant
There is enough support for perpetrators. (detail removed by moderator)
Perpetrators are listened to very well by the courts and the justice system and the health service.
Victims have hardly any support.
It is a proven fact that perpetrator programs are a waste of taxpayer money.
Perpetrators are always angry, no matter what goes on in their lives. They are only happy when they can abuse someone.
They are incurable.
We need to think how to support the victims better, how to help women with no chance of escaping to get out and live away from the perpetrators.
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