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Youve seen recent posts from me , due to get keys (detail removed by moderator) and start moving out before hes back from rehab.
Had a call (detail removed by moderator) and a family member that he is extremely close to is touch and go in ICU.
His mum (who doesnt know im leaving) asked me not to tell him yet and she will update me later.
Im at my wits end as i know if he passes away or were told he has very lityle time left ill have to tell him and he will come out.
How can i go now 😭😭😭
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Im thinking more of a hell be beside himself thing plus ill be putting the added pressure on his mum who is lively.
God i feel so rubbish i literally have no idea if i can go through with it now. Due to see solicitor in the morning.
He will be devestated. I will be complety the worst person in the world.
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Take things one step at a time. There was never a good time for me. My ex mum was diagnosed with cancer. He threw that in my face when I wanted to leave. She lasted another two years n nothing changed for me. It’s time to put yourself first. He is not your responsibility. He obviously has family that he doesn’t abuse so let them deal with him if it comes to it. Don’t talk yourself out of it x let’s see how thing go…..
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Stick with the plan….none of this is your fault or your doing. Now is the time to think of yourself and look after yourself. You owe him nothing and will not be a bad person.
Stay calm, keep talking to us and don’t give up.
Hugs TTMO x
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Definately stick with your plan. Follow up with your plans to move forward with your own life while he’s down and busy with his health, this is ideal, he can’t stop you. Push your feelings of guilt aside. He’s got plenty of support from his family, he lost the right to claim your support the very first time he abused you.
Focus on you, get support for yourself, you are the good person here.
Breathe in and out deeply, keep calm& keep posting -
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I keep thinking i must have done something really bad in a previous life how everything keeps panning out.
Its not him in ICU, its a relatice who he is extremely close to and (detail removed by moderator) 😭
Spoke to patents today and my dad says to carry on even if it takes a bit longer to sign the contract and they will get my place set up. Theg are amazing ❤
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Hello, GMLB darling, so sorry this has cropped up at such a bad time. How odd that his mother is burdening you with this information!
If he is really close to this relative, it would make more sense to just tell him, surely? He’s not a child, after all. Why is his mother treating you as if you’re the only adult around? Why burden you with this responsibility? That makes you the person who has to break bad news and deal with his reaction, which isn’t fair.
I’d be inclined to pass the responsibility right back to her – you could tell her things are a bit tense between you and you don’t want to be the bearer of bad tidings or risk being blamed for either telling or not telling him! Get right out from the go-between role and make sure she knows she has to step up and do this herself.
Meanwhile, I think it’s right to plough straight on with your plans, arrangements and appointments. If you postpone, that’s a lot of time, money and effort down the drain and nothing has actually changed, has it?
There will never be a better time to get out but there will always be some excuse to put his feelings and rights in front of your own if you falter now.
It’s the ‘How could you?’ question that’s haunting you, I think. The answer is ‘I’ve made up my mind. Nothing’s changed.’
Stay strong,
Flower x
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Do you see how his mother has recruited you to help her shield him from every stress and difficulty?
Who is shielding you, darling? Why should you be the one doing all the emotional labour and heavy lifting on the relationship?
You’re at your wits’ end and he’s oblivious. How is that right or fair?
Have a good long think and reflect on what you’re stepping up to and why, and how you could walk away from unnecessary burdens that really belong to other people.
If you live your life worrying about others’ demands and expectations and what they might think of you, it’s not really your life at all, is it?
Flower x
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