What to tell a (removed by Moderator) year old?

[enofadov]

Any advice on how to talk to my eldest? We are currently living with my parents and he is in the family home.
So far I’ve said we are just on an adventure. He picked them up from school and gave them tea at the family home the other day, but I feel she needs to settle down with what is going on???

[MsTaken]

It’s hard when children are involved. You can’t tell them too much about the adult stuff and you can’t make him out to be the worst person in the world because it will confuse them. Is he saying stuff to them? My ex was awful at calling me and trying to manipulate the kids. I just kept saying to them that “unfortunately mummy doesn’t love daddy anymore but it’s OK because we both still love you” and “I know daddy’s saying not very nice things but he’s upset and don’t worry because he will be OK soon”. I tried my best just to show that we were all going to be OK. I’m not going to lie it was extremely difficult, some days I was really sad and some days I wanted to tell them how much of a pig he was and all the stuff he’s saying to them was lies, lies and more lies. Kids have loads of questions but just try to reinforce that they’re loved and they don’t need to worry as the adults are sorting things out. I think it worked for my kids. They seem OK now xx

[KIP.]

Speak to women’s aid or the NSPCC helpline. I defended my ex behaviour in the beginning. I wouldn’t do that again. I wouldn’t say too much until they ask you but I firmly believe your husband will already have started brainwashing them. be honest and don’t defend his behaviour.

[enofadov]

Thank you.
I’ve stilljust been vague and said we all love them but I need to be more honest as I can tell she’s fretting

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