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    • #137361
      iliketea
      Participant

      Hi
      I’ve got a GP appointment coming up to see if I can get any trauma informed talking therapy. Do you think this is possible through the NHS? I am having high-intensity CBT at the moment but even though its interesting and makes sense, it feels triggering and I’m not sure its suitable for my stage of recovery/healing. I want to try and put this forward to the GP but not sure what info to take or say to back it up. When I looked up the NICE guidelines it actually recommends high intensity CBT as a first line of treatment but there’s nothing else about talking therapy as far as I can see. Does anyone have any other information, maybe I missed it when I was reading it. My brain isn’t in the greatest place right now and I’m finding it hard to process information. The CBT is wiping me out for a good 4 days after it, terrible nightmares etc. I’ve tried to explain to the therapist but she diverts the discussion and keeps on track like she’s got a script that we’ve got to get through. Even at the end there’s no down time checking in to see how I am, she just says bye, and I’m left with a dead screen. As the post separation abuse is ongoing, even more so now the legal process is theoretically finished, surprised me that that wouldn’t be the end of it, suppose I was naïve to think he’d just b****r off – I feel like I need to offload all that is going on. I don’t have any family or friends I can talk to about it. It just goes round and round in my head and I blurt out stuff inappropriately to random school mums, or total strangers at the bus stop who ask me how I am…
      Any ideas? I can’t afford to pay for therapy myself. I don’t know how anyone does at £100 a session.

    • #137378
      Grey Rock
      Participant

      Hiya ILT.

      What about getting on the freedom program? That’s been very therapeutic for me.

      GR x

    • #137382
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Hey not sure if this helps bit I wanna try.
      I originally went for counselling about self harm the first few sessions were all about cbt but ince we started it was clear this wasnt for me yet. So we talk well most times she does cause i still find it hard but its like she knows what im going through we click she also tells me to message her if im having a hard time. I believe thats a good counsellor i pay £45 an hour and i have 2 sometimes 3 a month she also disguses payment so my husband doesnt know what im doing she gets it. What im trying to say is maybe your counsellor isnt the right fit for you, not all shoes fit nor suit us right? Takes time to find a good pair that you are comfortable with?
      Its exhausting its horrible and i hate it but i know it does me good so good and one day i will really open up and bare all but when im ready and she knows this. A good fit.
      So maybe you need to find someone else ask womans aid to recommend someone local to you look on facebook read reviews do research i had a free half hour of just a chat b4 i started seeing her its such an important personal thing you are doing, dont give up sweetie it will be worth it.
      Wishing you love n hugs xxxx

    • #137395
      Teaandcats
      Participant

      I know a little bit about this kind of thing, and hope this post might help a little.

      CBT is a brilliant type of therapy and most of the ‘work’ you will do is focussed on here-and-now concerns and issues. Some practitioners are very prescriptive and will stick to their framework, others can be a little more flexible with the support in sessions – yours sounds like the first. Neither type if ‘better’ than the other, it’s just how the training and type of therapy program they’re doing with you works.
      For some people whom have lived with abuse for a long time, some of the concerns/difficulties will be based in historic stuff which you may not have the opportunity to process and explore with a CBT therapist. You should very much have the opportunity to talk about the impact that that abuse has had on you e.g. nightmares, constant high-alert etc. and have support in learning the skills to reduce any anxiety you experience – this can be done through exposure exercises (go away and do something different and build on this over time) and thought challenging (changing the way you think about things) and other ways.
      It sounds like the sessions are really hard for you and have left you feeling unsafe, and even though you’ve tried talking to your therapist about it, they’ve not heard/understood you. Would you be able to ask them to make a small change to support you in ending a session feeling more regulated – doing a 5 minute guided meditation or some breathing exercises together may help you to end a session feeling less heightened and overwhelmed, and would provide you with an additional method of coping.

      Therapies which are NHS funded are very much determined by where you live… Some NHS Trusts will have Counselling For Depression (CfD), some will have various IAPT services which can include everything from groups to CBT to counselling, others have a dedicated counselling and psychotherapy teams attached to hospitals or surgeries and some GP surgeries have counsellors that work out of their practice. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery sadly.

      When you talk to your GP, ask them if they have a list of local organisations that offer free counselling and psychotherapy, or for a referral to your nearest Social Prescribing Team (people who can sign post you to self help groups, group therapy, local organisations which support people with their mental health and overcoming abuse etc).

      Equally, if the Police were involved with your case, you might also be eligible for Victim Support to provide/fund therapy too.

      You can also Google counselling charities near you. And check any websites for local small charities which don’t specifically do counselling, but might offer it as part of the wider services, such as your local Mind. Look for places which offer open-ended therapy over short-term if you’re wanting to do a deep-dive into what’s gone of for you & the abuse, as that way you can decide when to end with your therapist, rather than being constrained by 6-12 sessions. If you think a few weeks of offloading might be enough to get you through – and for a lot of people it can be – shorter-term might be better for you. With charities though, you’ll likely have a waiting list and some will ask for a set donation to cover costs, like +/- £5 a session. Services with short-term work may be a shorter wait, whereas longer-term or open-ended charities will probably be longer before you can see someone.

      If you really are wanting to do trauma work, be prepared for 2 sessions a week, sometimes more. And having big feelings come up. Long-term it is a really positive and healthy thing to do, but can feel super scary and overwhelmeing at the time.

      For private therapy, you shouldn’t be paying £100 for a counselling session. Nope, no way. Counselling £40-60, Psychotherapy £40-80, Psychologist £50-80, depending on where in the UK you are and the practitioner’s experience. Some private therapists can offer a reduced rate if you’re on Universal credit but might have a bit of a wait to have a slot come available. You should only be paying big bucks if you’re seeing a Psychiatrist!

      Whatever you do decide and go for, the way you feel about your therapist is the most important thing. Do you feel safe with them and can you trust them? All research into talking therapies for y e a r s shows that it doesn’t really matter what type of therapy you’re having, what matters is the relationship you have with your therapist.

      Feel free to send me a private message if you want 😀

      • #137416
        iliketea
        Participant

        Thank you @teaandcats, that is really really helpful, thank you for explaining it so clearly. Maybe its the area I’m in, the only trauma focussed therapy I can find is £110 a session – 50 minutes – there are charities but their waitlists are closed. GP prescribed HRT on the spot (?!) and referred me to the social subscriber for other help. Thanks, I’ll keep looking. I will pm you.

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