What would you do?

[Flyflyaway]

Ok so (detail removed by moderator) after a argument thats always one sided. My partner threatened to give me coronavirus if he becomes homeless if the police gets involved. I rang the police and they came and said they will get him out, but the trouble is ad ive said before he is a foreigner with no family nor friends here, doesnt work so has no income. I would feel extremely guilty to kick him out with this pandemic going on and the fear what he would do also. Me and my daughter have had a offer to stay with friends during the pandemic but they are both keyworkers mixing with high numbers of people a day. My worrie is if we go there we are at more risk of getting the virus, but my daughter doesnt care so is mentally feed up with him and cant stand to be around him anymore. My anxiety is goumg crazy and i feel like a bad mum because my sister keeps telling me to send my daughter to her dads but my daughter is rufusing to go anywhere with out me, plus if something happened to her with out me i would never forgive myself Please help!!!

[fizzylem]

I’d get the police to get him out and stay safe in your home with your daughter; least disruption for her at this already difficult time.

Is there anyone who can come and self isolate with the two of you afterwards?

I’d also be enquiring whether the police can press charges; sounds like they can give him one of these 28 day orders? This would help you to apply for a restraining order for a longer period of time, which I imagine you’d need to get in as soon as the police remove him for 28 days – if this is what they will do.

I think you have to make it safe for you and daughter – that this is the priority. There is no making this ok for all of you, but you can make it ok for the two of you x

[KIP.]

He’s threatened to give you and your child a potentially life threatening virus. Ask yourself why you would feel guity about putting a safe distance between you both. He is not your responsibility and abusers use guilt to coerce us. He’s a grown red plenty jobs out there in shops and as delivery drivers. He will and on his feet but at the moment why should he do anything when he can drain you dry. You need to protect your child at all costs. Use the police to get him out and keep him out x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Listen to your daughter and put her wishes first. Stay together with her and get away from him.
It doesn’t matter what happens to him, he’s lost the right of your care&concern the minute he chose to abuse you. I would also be much less frightened of the coronavirus than from an abuser. With the coronavirus even if you’d contract it the chances of care and healing are much greater. Whereas there is no guarantee of safety for you and your daughter by staying with your abuser only a risk of further abuse and violence.

[Iwantmeback]

Please listen to your daughter. You know deep down she’s right. He has threatened both of you. If he’d threatened to shoot you or stab you, would you turn the other cheek?
Stay safe at all costs. By putting you and your child first you are also protecting your relationship with her, and empowering her in future relationships too. Rip off the plaster instead of peeling it a bit at a time.
IWMB

[thepoppygirl]

Hi,
Sorry about what you going through. If he is removed then it is not your responsibility to look after him, it’s up to him to get support for himself. Eg. emergency accommodation. I think you doing the right thing for you and your daughter. Sounds like you very close. Sending you warmth and strength x*x

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