What’s been happening

[Mellow]

I told him it’s over my head says it has to I’m deeply upset I said I don’t l him but I do .I said it because he’s a manipulater and he uses it to his advantage.
I’ve started thinking of the relationship from the beginning and I feel used .
From the start he never seemed to want any pictures of me and the baby it was always him and the baby what he would then post online the whole relationship seemed to be about raising the children but not me .
I remember many occasions being along and him having conversations elsewhere .many times paying for many things and him not making a contribution.but he has always said I should be happy because he also took on family which is not his so I should make sacrifices though I never ask for any finances.
All under my nose he has been having emotional relationship with others but calls it friendship but it’s obvious I’ve been talked about which goes into emotional territory.I’m not having a good day I’ve lost loads of weight and falling into depression and keep crying .I caught him doing stuff he should not be doing in a relationship and the behaviour is worse.I feel so sad and hurt why he is in my house I don’t want to involve police I’m trying to get support but it’s difficult

[HunkyDory]

Hey, your situation sounds so so similar to the one I had with my ex. I was fortunate in that he left the country – his decision after a vicious attack on me – and I made sure he couldn’t come back (he didn’t have full leave to remain). It was a long time coming and I had almost a decade of physical, emotional and financial abuse.

It’s different for you, we had no children, but my advice would be to get yourself a support network and make a safe plan to leave via womens aid or a local charity. You and your child deserve so much better. X

[Mellow]

I’m trying to leave but it’s my house I don’t want police involved I’m told he could go in a day I’ve he tried recording me saying so

[Anonymous]

I know you don’t want police involved, not sure of reasons , it’s not because he has manipulated you into not calling them as a blackmail tactic ? It’s your house and if you don’t want him there call the police anonymous if you want and they will remove him , your making yourself ill , well sorry he is making you ill , your mental health and well being is more important x

[Mellow]

I am being black mailed he said he would tell all the family and is recording me saying it also saying where he is from they would never do that.he has started being nice again but I still don’t like it .if I say anything nice to him I get wierd conversation back.I’m thinking of doing a written notice as he said he hasent got money to just go

[Ariel]

Well done in the first place to make this decision. Has he said he will actually leave? He probably doesn’t believe you mean it. Maybe give him a date that you want him gone by.
Obviously be careful as I don’t know your situation as to what he’s like. But leaving or him leaving is the most dangerous time x keep yourself safe x

[Mellow]

I’m terrified but I’m told I must sort it quick cause he is planning (detail removed by Moderator) and I don’t want kids to see the police take him I thought if he dosent go by the month he says at the end to change the locks but then that could cause more drama I’m most scared because he (detail removed by Moderator)

[little-miss-sunshine]

I’m so sorry this sounds like a horrible situation, this whole thing is hard enough and I don’t have kids to think about. Definitely sounds like something needs to happen before (detail removed by Moderator).

Could the kids go somewhere else (or you go with them?) for the day while you get police involved? Sorry I don’t really know how it works, maybe talk to someone at Womens Aid, on the text chat if you can’t get any space to call them?

It doesn’t sound like he’s going to leave, might be the safest option for you? Stay safe and take care, I hope you can get some help and things get a bit easier soon. Much love x*x

[Mellow]

I’ve been referred in my local
Area but they referred me to a male support worker so I asked if I could have a female as o struggle talking about these things to men and I’ve had no response since I asked

[Mellow]

I’ve written up a notice I know I’ll get stuck for it and he will probably say it’s up to me but I need some boundaries there

[Author]

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