27th February 2016 at 8:51 pm #10632
I don’t even knowhy entirely why…i’ve been fine, better than fine lately. But not today.
I’m struggling with my child – today was just beyond awful and I don’t feel I can cope or keep him safe or be a good mum. Not perp-related which actually makes it worse. Maybe he was right all along, I’m not fit for this.
Am waiting for news regarding my perp that’s due any day. Tho I’vr no idea what the news will be, will either be bad or worse than bad.
Feeling so alone… someone send me a hug?
27th February 2016 at 8:57 pm #10633SaharaDParticipant
I’m in the same situation feeling like c**p because I’m homeless again. It’s just the uncertainty that makes you feel panicky.
I don’t have a child and I feel panicky about having one so can you imagine when you have got one and things are going awry? Of course you will doubt yourself.
I was just thinking maybe I should lose everything because I’m tired of trying to hold on while everything seems against me. Now I think (after a chocolate binge and a pint of cider) just keep going it’s not over until you are dead.
So keep going. As far as I can tell you are an amazing mum!
27th February 2016 at 9:03 pm #10635
Oh SaharaD I’m sorry to hear that…what are you going to do?
Sometimes I wish I had the option of giving in and giving up but I don’t, I have to carry on. There’s no other choice…
Had alot on my plate recently health-wise and with my son. Can’t cope anymore.
Am with you on the choccy binge!! Spanx will step in where the diet fails!
Thank you for hugs – sending you some too xx
27th February 2016 at 9:54 pm #10644SaharaDParticipant
There is nothing I can do. I hate it not being able to do things for myself. I have professionals working on it to make sure I have a roof over my head no matter what.
I just have to try to look after myself physically( struggling with that), keep my self mentally stable (struggling with that), keep my job( that’s A-ok! the one thing in my life), try to cope with daily tasks (struggling with that) and try to prepare mentally for whatever more s**t (difficulties) may come my way.
It’s frustrating because I am unable to set and complete goals. So I just have to take it day by day or hour by hour as the case may be.
I know my intense bad feelings while eventually pass and go back to the back of my mind where they live (never completely disappear) so I just have to tolerate it and not make the situation worse.
27th February 2016 at 10:29 pm #10655SerenityParticipant
Sahara- so sorry to hear about your situation now. Take extra good care of yourself.
LBP- parenting is blooming exhausting, the hardest job in the world, at the best of times. We all set out with the best intentions, but it’s so hard sometimes. Don’t set your aims too high- just aim to be ‘good enough.’ You have a lot to cope with x
27th February 2016 at 10:30 pm #10656SerenityParticipant
PS oops- forgot to send you you a hug x
28th February 2016 at 1:52 am #10664AyannaParticipant
LittleBritishPhoenix, big hugs! Hang in there! x*x
28th February 2016 at 3:53 am #10665White RoseParticipant
LBP – sorry you’re feeling this way. You say it’s not perp related but you are obviously thinking about that as there’s news due soon. It all plays on the mind and adds to stress and then we find everyday tasks more challenging than usual. As Serenity says kids are hard work. Sometimes I think mine was a gift with 2 purposes – to be both the most lovely and the most frustrating thing ever! Hang on in there you are a great mum xx
Sahara D I’m so sorry your housing situation in causing you stress again but I’m glad you have people on your side helping you xx
28th February 2016 at 7:29 am #10668
Sahara – I agree with Serenity take extra good care of you right now! Get a cheap cocktail, sit by the radiator, grab your book and pretend you’re back on holiday? Will keep my fingers crossed that it all works out soon xx
Thank you ladies, my son is challenging at the moment. He runs away from me when we’re out when I’m distracted, so there’s that heartwrenching moment when you turn around and your child isn’t there, and then yesterday he got himself really hurt.
i’m finding it very stressful as you can probably imagine.
Definitely appreciate the hugs!
Got a call very late last night – it was good-ish news?
He’s being charged!…so we’re going to trial.
Part of me doesn’t really believe it, like I dreamed it, if that makes sense? But the police definitely rang me so I haven’t made it up…when will it sink in?
28th February 2016 at 7:33 am #10669shine bright 2Participant
I wanted to say hi to you and gives some words of encouragement. you and Sahara both inspired ,helped a d encouraged me when I was on here be g before.
lbp, there are days when I lay awake worrying that I’m not a good mum..that I can’t provide. Some days I have to stretch out the food to me it go round and we can’t go anywhere coz we have no money etc. .It makes me feel that I am failing them. The fact they are on a child protection Plan crushed my confidence as a pent but what I do see is how they have grown and blossomed because they feel safe. The very fact that you are worrying shows how deeply you care.I remember on the old forum thinking how much courage you had getting away from all the horror…The biggest gift u could have given little one….The rest is just the icing on the cake. you do the have to be perfect at everything. u just have to be there. Take care….sometimes it’s really hard I know but I can you are a good mum…don’t be hard on yourself.
28th February 2016 at 7:36 am #10670shine bright 2Participant
Sorry to put this here…but hope you are ok Sahara. You are another person from the old forum who gave me strength….and some direct words! sorry to hear things are hard..hope u r getting by and managing to take care of yourself.
28th February 2016 at 7:52 pm #10707martian29Participant
You are not alone with your feelings. It is so hard coping on your own with children in normal circumstances. Dealing with the after effects of abuse and the legal side of things makes it much more difficult. I am sure most of us have days feeling just as you describe. I know I certainly do.
I am sure your son knows who is there for him, who loves him and who he is safe with at the end of the day.
Just wanted to send you hugs and wish you luck with the upcoming trial XX
29th February 2016 at 7:01 am #10726
Thank you so much ladies, you never fail to remind me that we are all strong even when we feel at our weakest.
Much love to you all and big hugs x*x
29th February 2016 at 9:36 am #10737Confused123Participant
Just wanted to send u both hug, as hard as it is we just gotta keep going, being a parent is the hardest job in world , coping with the effects abuse has on children is even harder, hang in there , somehow we will get through this , can only support each another
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