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10th September 2024 at 8:30 am #171264
browneyedmum
ParticipantI just wanted to see if anyone else has had the experience of an Abuser weaponizing your disability against you?
I think this is happening to me, as an Autistic Women, where he’s purposely using my Autistic traits and triggers against me and its leaving me feeling much more vulnerable overall. I’m going to try to watch out for those sorts of actions in future.
But I was also wondering if anyone has experienced similar?
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11th September 2024 at 10:36 am #171283
Lisa
Main ModeratorHi browneyedmum,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. That must be really upsetting and as you mentioned this adds to your feeling of vulnerability. He is choosing to be abusive and wants to use anything to ensure he has power and control in this situation. You deserve to be treated with love and respect
Best Wishes
Lisa
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18th September 2024 at 3:54 pm #171407
Squirrel
ParticipantHi I’m new to the forum and found it really helpful
I have arthritis since (detail removed by moderator), I’m suffering with my knees so am not driving, I feel under house arrest as he won’t take me to pick up prescriptions. I’m so alone 😔 last week he told our teenage son (I was in the room) that I didn’t have the condition because (detail removed by moderator) That broke my soul. He lies the whole time.
I spent (detail removed by moderator) in hospital earlier this year. He didn’t contact me once..instead he contacted my friends because he was the victim and needed attention. Victim or hero nothing in between.
I got a hospital bug and was really ill. Instead of empathy I got a broken bottle pushed in my face..of course that was my fault
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12th December 2024 at 10:12 pm #172738
Sogo1234
ParticipantHi browneyedmum, I know your post was a long time ago but just wanted to say I relate to this so much. I was recovering from an operation unable to do much at all and my partner had a go at me saying I wasn’t being thankful enough for them helping me.
I’ve also had other things used against me relating to my cptsd and a brain injury. These people are evil and will use anything they can to bring us down. They find the things that will hurt us the most and use those without any hesitation.
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this and I hope you are okay. Keep posting!
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13th December 2024 at 7:56 am #172739
LavenderLilly
ParticipantYes, my husband does this, I have ADHD with autistic traits and he uses it as a weapon against me in arguments – says how I constantly interrupt people, no wonder no one wants to spend time with me, no wonder no one likes me etc. Shouts at me to stop talking over him when I might just react to something he’s telling me about his day “how terrible!” Then he’ll shout to stop talking over him when I’m just trying to empathise and show I care.
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13th December 2024 at 8:27 am #172740
Anonymous
InactiveI’m so sorry this is happening to you all.
My disability caused me to be anxious to get out and about in case I took ill in public. He used this, I see now, to keep me very isolated, and now I can also see a lot of the anxiety was being whipped up by him. I wanted to visit a friend with my children – he got angry and said no, there was no way I could manage on public transport. I was so upset and disempowered by this, but I backed down because I was scared to push further (and I worried he was right).
The worst incident for me was when I dared to confront him over something and tell him I was unhappy in the relationship, and he said: if we split up, you wouldn’t get custody of the children because of your disability. That absolutely terrified me. And it kept me with him for years because I was so scared.
(length of time removed by Moderator) on from leaving him, and I have been building my confidence getting out despite the disability. And I have been ill in public, and it sucked but… I survived!
And as for the threat over the kids… well, that was a load of c**p. They live happily with me.
These people have no right, ever, in any way, no matter how seemingly tiny, to use any form of disability against you, to use it to try to get their own way or to make you feel small and disempowered and abnormal and broken. Just… no.
It’s hard enough living with a disability and/or health issue and/or being wired a bit differently to others without the person who’s meant to love and support you leveraging that against you.
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