When an abusive parent dies

[maddog]

It just muddies the water, doesn’t it. I forgave him some time ago so, and he has spent the rest of his life trying to make up for being such a cr*p dad. I am so glad I was able to have a relationship with him after the hell and misery I’ve had to live through, so much of which was just terrible things that happened.

Today I feel hollowed out and unbearably sad, and probably afraid.

So far he’s been surrounded by his family and friends, and although emotions have been running high, nobody has lost their temper. What a horrible time. I know I’m just going to have to ride with it and the storm will pass.

My life has been marred by a profound sense of worthlessness, addiction, self-loathing and a long term abusive relationship. It’s very hard to come to terms with all that. So many dreadful things happened to my dad, and many of them, bit by bit he told me about.

[KIP.]

Just wanted to send you a 🤗 hug. Things that happened to him may not excuse his abuse of you but if he spent his life trying to make it up to you then that’s a positive memory to have. Distressing time for all involved x my abuser isn’t my father but I will be skipping the day he cannot ever harm anyone again x

[maddog]

When my ex corks it, I don’t suppose I’ll blink an eye. I only hope that his children understand that No Contact is far better than acknowledging him.

Right now, I feel as though I’m trying to keep my head above the water in the most terrible storm.

[Author]

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