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I get so angry these days. Certain topics or situations get me insanely cross and I find it hard not to kick off.
My counsellor asks what all this anger is doing to me. I know it isn’t doing any good but as she put it “I am fighting everyone and everything” at the moment. Its like the anger is just under the surface…waiting for someone to do or say the wrong thing.
How do I get rid of this? I try to see things from other peoples perspectives and counting to 10 but ultimately sometimes the anger gets the better of me and I go mad. I thought that it was because I was never allowed to be angry around my Ex, so in a sense I was getting rid of the pent up anger I had. However, its been over 6 months now, surely this should be settling?
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Hello there,
You might try turning towards the anger, instead of turning away from it. This sounds strange but it is the basis of many Buddhist meditations which acknowledge acceptance of suffering and strong feelings. It also forms part of what they call acceptance and commitment therapy. If you search for Buddhist Tonglen practice with Tara Brach you should find such a meditation.Alternatively you could depict your anger in a creative way.
We know that for many of us it is our anger that has kept us going – whilst it is not good to have it consistenty, for many of us it has helped us survive so in that sense it is not the enemy, but a friend who is just wearing strange clothes…
You might speak to your Anger and ask it if it wants to pack a suitcase and have a week off – from duty..ask it to go on holiday for a bit and rest up…
ftc
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You don’t get rid of it.
You use it as an energy boost to go out there and try to do the productive things you can’t do when depression kicks in.
It’s there anyway so you might as well use it for your benefit.
For me it’s a very physical sensation and I have absolutely to get out of the house or I smash something.
It calms me to be out.
It calms me to wet my feet into the cool river.
Focus on you body, not your mind. Otherwise it drives you crazy.
I don’t want to sound negative or scare you but six months is just the very beginning of the ride.
The anger stays quite a while after you got out of abuse. It comes and goes.
Take the energy you get from it to be active.
All the best. -
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I get angry quickly too. It is PTSD.
I was abused as a child and the abuse by the last ex cemented my anger.
Also, the fact that I was let down, was completely on my own in a very difficult situation, have lost all my so called friends, … does not help.
I do not feel responsible for my anger.
I could not care less, because nobody ever cared about me. -
Thank you all.
It helps to know that I am not the only one.
It had not occurred to me to use my anger to push me forward. I really like that idea. Utilise the energy is generates to get stuff done. Freedomtochoose, the way you phrase things is really beautiful. I am into some Buddhism stuff so I will definitely check that out.
HopeLifeJoy, I get incredibly fidgety when I am mad. I have to get out and walk it off (normally 5 miles or more). Or play badminton and smash the life out of the shuttlecock. Its the only way to get it out of my system. I basically have to tire myself out. I did a free personal training session the other week, I wasn’t mad for about 3 days, I just didn’t have the energy.
Tiffany, I think I am getting mad less but I honestly can not tell some days. Sometimes I get so mad that in the end, I just sit and cry. I think I will settle a lot more once my housing situation feels settled.
Ayanna I am so sorry no one was there for you. I am sorry your friends did not rise to the occasion when they should have. Are you having any counselling? You sound like you have a lot of anger to process, as do I and my counsellor has been very good and helping me with that.
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