When is it enough?

[Sandandseaisfree]

Whilst I can recognise that the behaviours that happened whilst we were together were abuse, since I left (detail removed by moderator) months ago I thought that things had calmed down and I started to feel better in myself. Now I’m ready to move on and have started speaking to someone else, he has managed to jump right back into my life again. Despite the fact I had him blocked on everything, he got his new girlfriend (one of the people he cheated on me with) to bombard me until I called him, for him to shout at me that I am out of order for moving on, how he was never going to pay me back (I’ve accepted that this mountain of debt is now my responsibility anyway)and then cry that he’s still in love with me. I thought that would have been it, but instead he has been knocking at my door (thankfully I have not been in) and then went and started a fight with the person I’ve been attempting to move on to. This then resulted in him ending up in A&E (turns out he’s not as hard as he thought he was) and since then he’s been trying to get people to contact me. I’ve temporarily moved away to stay with family as I’ve just found the whole situation a bit stressful but I feel like I’m overreacting and with the current lockdown situation I feel really guilty for leaving my house. I don’t know at what point this ends?!

[HunkyDory]

Hi hun, it’s harassment. Please contact the police and tell them he’s harassing you. Get a restraining order (the other ladies can help with how, I’m not sure). You did the right thing blocking him, now block her and any other account he tries to contact you with. How nice he ended up in a&e, well done your new man 👍

You’re not overreacting at all, you are keeping yourself safe and there’s no shame in that! But you do need I think legal intervention now to stop him contacting you. It’s illegal. Good luck and well done for getting away xx

[Sandandseaisfree]

Thanks for the reply! I have blocked her too now and blocked anyone who I think may contact me. I changed my number when I first left so it’s just social media I need to be wary of! The frustrating thing is since this has happened I haven’t heard from the new guy, can’t really blame him. I feel like no one is ever going to want to date me! He also already thinks I have a restraining order – he isn’t smart enough to realise he would get something in writing to state that. I don’t know why I’m scared to actually get one. I just always feel like I’m over reacting and that he isn’t that bad, but I also know that’s probably just because I spent (detail removed by moderator) years with him acting like this! X

[Anonymous]

No over reacting here at all. Please get over that one and get a restraining order, it’s harrassment, stalking, bullying and it’s abuse. You are not his possession. With social media, you might want to change all that up as well. You can set everything up on FB where no one you don’t allow in, can’t see anything. Just make sure those reading are not his spies. Sometimes we have to make our inner circle smaller and that’s ok. He needs a consequence to his actions.

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