When the abuse shifts

[White Rose]

My second Christmas away from him amd I’m safer and calmer than I was.
He’s never liked Christmas as he never respected family times.
This year he’s changed his approach and chosen to ignore our daughter completely. Not a card or a call or a text. I watched her gradually deflate all day yesterday and today she’s just quiet and sad and withdrawn. She’s old enough to chose where she lives and it’s not with him but young enough not to fully understand the fact he’s abandoned her.
He says she needs to earn his love. Cruel, evil man.

[Tamra]

Hi White Rose.
Glad your Christmas was calmer.
What a nasty man. I feel so angry when the children are treated like that. I could swear but all the words I want to say will be removed. I feel for your daughter and for you to have to have to watch her pain and confusion. I guess you know how she is kinda feeling. How dare he say she has to earn his love, does he even know what love is…?

Mine would say people of all ages would have to earn his respect. In my opinion respect is ‘earned’ if you are respectful yourself. children are taught it by watching others not being made to give it. My son at a very young age would say to why do I always have to be the one to speak first why doesn’t he say hi to me, my reply would be because your a kind and caring person. I guess I’m setting him up to allow people to walk over him but I didn’t want him to be like my ex, he’s not my sons dad thank god.
I feel for children and young people being put though this awful life as what are we teaching them is to either be an abuser or a victim, some of course aren’t either and go though life happy and content. The pattern can also be in schools too as they aren’t always listened to, not always respected that they have feelings, victims and bullies can be treated in a manner which needs addressing appropriately etc.

Sorry I ranted on a bit. I feel for your daughter but she has a wonderful mum that will help her though this and she will know one day what sort of people she needs in her life. You are a surviver and will come though this a calmer happier person. I wish you both happiness and love

Xx

[SFHolding2]

My children spoke to him on Xmas day on the phone, he said he would phone at a certain time and didn’t so I got the children to phone him. After they spoke they passed the phone to me to arrange what times he was seeing them over the holiday. I wished him a merry Xmas, he said nothing in reply. I don’t know why I bother, but I don’t want to become as rude and cruel as he is.

[White Rose]

The sheer frustration of this riduculous situation makes me seethe.
Our kids are more grown up than their dads.
Hope you had a relaxing low stress Christmas x

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