When will it stop?

[magnoliatree]

Hi, I’m new here. I’m struggling with my ex, father of my (detail removed by Moderator) children. We’ve been split for (detail removed by Moderator) years now, yet he still continues to get to me. I did the freedom programme, I can see the games and patterns, yet it still triggers me.

Our (detail removed by Moderator) stopped seeing him (detail removed by Moderator) years ago nowas her anxiety over going to see him got so bad. He treated her differently to his other children. She’s autistic, and is now very damaged.

Once again he’s pulled the same trick…sending me an email (detail removed by Moderator) saying he was there to listen without judgement and wanted me to heal…telling our (detail removed by Moderator) yr old that he really cares about me being ok…this bit always throws me. I feel like if I don’t give him another chance to change I’m the bad person. He’s been with yhe same partner since we split (possibly a bit before, not really sure) and they have a child together.

Anyway, (detail removed by Moderator) after his ‘friendly’ email a friend hassent me a screenshot of a pist he’s put out on (detail removed by Moderator) totally slagging me and our (detail removed by Moderator) off. Saying out of his (detail removed by Moderator) children then 1 not in contact with him is a ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ and I’ve blocked him seeing her and being dismissive of her mental health problems, her autism…denying he’s an abuser.

I just can’t deal with this any more. Why xant he just leave me alone? I cannot heal whilst he keeps doing things like this. I’ve now been putting up with his abuse for nearly (detail removed by Moderator) years. And he still makes me doubt myself.

[Ariel]

I would tell your friends to not show you things he puts on (detail removed by Moderator). You know he does that now so you can’t trust what he says when he’s being nice. He’s only being nice as he wants something.
You are not the bad person for not wanting to give him another chance. Your children are already damaged you said. Try to just stay focused on understanding that he is a horrible person not you.

[Author]

Posts