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    • #16577
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      Why carry on?

    • #16584
      Rebuilding
      Participant

      Because carrying on is surviving and that means they didn’t win! Take pride in knowing that your future has hope x

    • #16614
      Serenity
      Participant

      Because you are free now to live your life like you truly value yourself and are precious.

      You aren’t defined by your ex’s abuse or opinion of you.

      I used to believe that I would also always be defined by my children and their love for their mother- but now I realise women aren’t just defined by the family role.

      We did our bit to be a good wife and be a good mother.

      We wasted precious energy on idiot men who weren’t worthy of licking our shoes. Your ex is ( temporarily, I am sure ) manipulating your children.

      But even if it took your kids another 20 years to see the truth, that wouldn’t mean the next twenty years of your life are to be spent in limbo. You/ we aren’t even defined by our kids’ opinions of us. Our kids don’t have the experience and maturity to see the wood for the trees. Yet.

      They will learn eventually which men are good and which men are bad, and they will be able to see their dad more clearly. Their own life experiences will teach them wisdom. He won’t be able to monopolise their minds forever. Life has a habit of teaching you things.

      Your next twenty years are indeed valuable. They should be spent freely walking about this (still) wonderful
      world, enjoying what comforts and beauty life can offer you without their toxic presence.

      To do this, and to be able to really take enjoyment and peace from life, you need to really feel you deserve it, and this means trashing his projected s**** and getting it out of your head that you don’t deserve peace and to laugh and enjoy life, because you d**n well do.

      You need to visualise locking all his horrible thoughts and projections in a box and throwing away the key forever, and being free to enjoy a life without his poison and rubbish ringing in your ears.

      He is nothing. His opinions aren’t important.

      The important thing here is you. You never deserved any of it.

      And to be honest, I think that when your kids eventually come to have a relationship with you, you must insist on being treated nicely.

      Today could be the day that you begin to treat yourself like a precious flower. That could be the point.

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