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So this I hope will raise a little smile and maybe others would like to add something that they would never have believed they could do. Now I’m free there are a lot of things I had no idea I was capable of so this is a bit silly but made me so happy for more reason than one!
Today I fixed our loo – who knew I could have done something like that! X
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Hi watersprite, I’m so happy your out and thriving, I can almost feel a lightness from you (hard to explain?) I actually believe it in everyone on the forum (even though they don’t believe it themselves) obviously some could be seriously under threat and danger if leaving, but I believe that when posts like this go up it gives those a little more hope that they can get out of the horrible situations they’re in, thank you for posting and giving hope 💖💞💖
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Who knew I could not be triggered by him?
I am not out but have reached a point now where I feel no need to react to or manage his moods. I can just watch him having a tantrum and feel no connection to his behaviour….At. All.
So freeing even while I am not free
It’s good to notice these positive changes because I know I don’t acknowledge them often enough.
And go you Watersprite!
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Had a difficult situation had some work done on my house despite it clearly want right but would cost me a lot of money (for me) and he was gaslighting me like crazy. But i didn’t flinch or budge was form and polite and in the end he made good and if it still doesn’t work right will reimburse the parts. Inside I was wobbling like crazy and I have burst into tears when he left but i did it and still feel rubbish but I stood my ground. Who knew I could do that.
I am not the person that I was I am changed forever by the abuse as is my family but I am kind of starting to like the version I am becoming. -
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I completely get this! I’ve had some really positive experiences since I left which I know might sound crazy to anyone who hasn’t lived like we have. I painted my fence and decking – all by myself – chose the colours, did the work and i’m thrilled! No drama, no arguments. Its like a new way of living that I didn’t know i could be a part of. But i still have to work hard to not let that little voice that lingers telling me that I can’t do it or i’ve done it wrong. I plucked up the courage and went to the tip yesterday – on my own. Drove somewhere I didn’t know to do something I’d not done before – with men who I worried would be judging me. And it was all fine. I did it and I felt like I’d achieved something afterwards. Which is ridiculous as it was just a trip to the tip!
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Dear Watersprite, I can relate to your story. I had the same problem last year and was unfortunately ripped off. I was not able to retrieve the money I lost but learnt a big lesson in listening to my instincts. I’ll also be carrying out further repair work this year and will not hire men who make me feel uncomfortable or display misogynistic traits of any kind. I don’t want a summer of feeling vulnerable as I did last year and have already blocked one person, who was engaging in criminal activity. Meeting other men/or women can trigger PTSD and we have to trust our gut feelings.
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Thank you for sharing your little and very important WIN. Yes, you are winning each day that you’re not reliant on an abuser. They perish when we take away control and fear. Well done, for fixing that loo and for posting your message.
When I left my abuser I learnt to: control the bills, start a postgraduate degree, represent myself in court, cut a hedge, manage my finances, move locations all by myself to start a new job and return to see him in court, take on a rundown property where I painted my bedroom, mowed my lawn and survived without a proper bathroom and kitchen, moved again for employment and finally learnt how to drive.You can do anything without fear and abuse in your life.
I wish everyone a safe journey out of domestic abuse,
Weather, x*x
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Dear Watersprite, I can relate to your story. I had the same problem last year and was unfortunately ripped off. I was not able to retrieve the money I lost but learnt a big lesson, which is, to listen to my instincts. I’ll also be carrying out further repair work this year and will not hire men who make me feel uncomfortable or display misogynistic traits of any kind. I don’t want a summer of feeling vulnerable as I did last year and have already blocked one person, who was engaging in criminal activity. Meeting other men/or women can trigger PTSD and we have to trust our gut feelings.
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