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    • #47206
      Nova
      Participant

      Hi Ladies!
      I have been off the forum and having a bit of a working adventure, which turned out so great, even though I just took the plunge out of my new ‘comfort zone’ I didn’t want to return..(& now I have forged a new contact that no one can take away from me! Yay!!)
      …unfortunately had unfinished business with him.
      …then no sooner had I stepped back in the door…life here grabbed me and gave me a huge, here we go, back to it, oh no here we go again moment!

      So Guess what…I’m with a lawyer, forced to, not my choice, and the cost jeepers, I just had to at least try, even though it will financially break me. + I cannot afford to go to court. Justice is prohibited to me, because of money…and he knows that.obviously can’t go into details, though it’s taken me (detail removed by Moderator) to get to this point.
      I tried and tried ( yes I know it doesn’t work) to mediate and even my family & friends stepped in…Flat refusal from ‘the ex’ ( cannot bear to even think of his name never mind say it!) to even acknowledge facts, and blatant lies with his family fully on board! Just trying to white wash it all ( what’s new!?) same old tried the X y z of advice, still grappling with the return of the after shock.
      Waking up again in blind panic mode, ( which disappeared away) like I’ve just gone right back to square one…though deep down I know I haven’t..just has me gripped at the mo.
      A lawyer +!a serious load of s*it to sift through, all of which I wanted distance from has come back to get me.
      I’ve feel really dragged through it all again, and totally unsupported…looks like I will be forced to deal with it again family & friends scarpered they see it all as ‘old news’ I wouldn’t even go there any more, it’s just a drag for them as much as me…so many major things have happened though.
      I’ve had to gather some super human strength together and battle through..health wise, falling apart, honestly this sounds odd but things have gone wrong like my teeth breaking ( crazy bad for self esteem and totally out of the blue and mega expensive/stress) other work collapsed, friends just stopped calling, I felt so isolated when I returned..
      AND guess what I’m hanging on in there…just!
      Bit like one step forward two back, and some days atm are extremely tough, my mind body and soul are quite honestly shattered by it all.
      Just keep pushing forward and praying for positive outcomes….small steps make big steps hey..I think I must ring WA and get some real life support though need that face to face connection.
      Bit of TLC goes a long way hey ladies!
      Hope your all doing ok and HUGE HUGS!
      Getting there …slowly!! 🌿

      Cuppa xxxxxx

    • #47207
      Goldengirl
      Participant

      Hi, cuppa. Well done on getting this far. I know what you mean about battling on. Just when you think you have some small piece of peace, it comes crashing back down. I even experienced the teeth bit – my dentist saved one tooth and is trying to save another. Weird, huh? Just remember it takes great strength to keep going at these times and you are a very strong woman – moving, getting a job, with all the rubbish going on, it takes strength to keep going. Phone WA for support. I found victim support essential to my mental health and they can do face to face, if you push. Big, big hugs to you!

    • #47211
      Nova
      Participant

      Thanks…yes I’ve been doing great..and then because of. Legal happenings it has dragged me right back into anxiety mode.
      What’s tough is still having to deal with him after all this time, although this fingers crossed will be closure…in practical terms…mentally it’s a different story. One step at a time, have to dig deep and not let the b grind me down, it is literally me against him again…that is what I wanted to avoid..he’s of course loving it…still trying to manipulate and control!
      Though I exposed the reality of his wrath to family and the lawyer..and they now get it. He didn’t want that of course to be X posed still trying to play Mr Nice!

      Getting there! Thanks for your kind words X

    • #47232
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey Hun

      Sending u a massive hug, these men rip us apart , but u doing a great job , just keep taking baby steps and post on here for support , sometimes moral support from us ladies means loads to me and keeps me going

    • #47237
      Nova
      Participant

      Thanks Confused…had a horrendous day, just couldn’t stop crying…saw some wedding pictures cried heard a song cried looked at myself in the mirror cried again. I know it’s ‘good to let it all out’ but really to be on the road to recovery, then massive thud brought back…to this all again.

      I just look at other people and think where the f did I go wrong? Why am I so trusting? How did I get here in this mess?…my life a mess and the anxiety is literally stopping me in my tracks, I can’t think of ideas anymore, ways forward. All my usual…’go to’ has gone!

      I don’t seem to have anybody around me at all …I’m being honest to just talk to. The nice parts of my ..old life…has disappeared..I keep trying really hard to put new happy stuff in place…which works for a nano second…and life just keeps dishing our huge portions of cr*p
      Literally falling apart. We survivors need a sanctuary a place to call home a drop in to drop into for a chat and a cuppa …honestly a place to go to where I can ask questions and get face to face support. Not counselling just a friendly face would do! I’m sick of…having to put a ‘ brave’ face on!
      Gets too much doesn’t it!

      What can we do to make this happen…WA? Anybody?! Wouldn’t it be amazing a light somewhere for us to network and not be isolated. Like a forum …in real life! ;))

      Cx

    • #47241
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I went through my ordeal without a lawyer. I was unable to afford one. I represented myself.
      Just do online research and call all the helplines.
      Rights of Women are great and the NCDV and government websites.

    • #47259
      Nova
      Participant

      Thanks Ayanna, I cant afford one either just loaned money for even an initial consultation. That will be all I can do I cant take it any further. Rang ROW literally over 30+ times and ALWAYS engaged.
      I have left no stone un-turned before I have reached this point. the stress as we all know is crippling…Will keep battling.
      Cuppa

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