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He has come back from a meeting with the police and informed me that he has been told that Social Services, the council and other agencies are all flapping it in case he does something really awful at home. Why? well not because they are actually bothered about our lives but because they don’t want their agencies in the papers, their words not his. I am not sure what bothers me most about this the fact that it is all still going on behind my back or the fact this is a butt saving attempt or the fact people are talking about me dying or being seriously hurt.
These agencies are working against me right now and have completely cut me out the loop. I am almost of the view that even if I sent an email basically saying someone needs to tell me what is going on they will deny it anyway. I cannot put up with much more todays meeting has placed me in an awful position long term and there have not looked at what happens if it goes wrong or who will be left to pick up the pieces.
Whatever happened to working together with families, open book policies and all the other things that I was told they would do in the beginning.
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My ex used to totally twist what people has said so I wondered if yours is doing the same? Mine used to make me believe even my solicitor was sharing things with him ! Now I know it wasn’t true but at the time I believed him.
One time he was ‘spoken to ‘ by police and told me loads of stuff what the police supposedly said so I said nothing and called them directly and then even higher up got involved and they checked the records and nothing like that was stated at all.
Maybe it’s worth speaking directly to them as I’m very hopeful it will be a totally different version from what you’ve been told by him,
Remember it’s his way of keeping control over you and making you distrust others. -
Hi Anon mine is my adult son, they came here to take him to the meeting otherwise he would not go, it is possible it is taken out of context but on the whole the things he has come back and said today could only have come from a professional. It is very frustrating because they tell me our case is closed but then every now and then I find out that they are chatting behind our backs, sending emails etc, so no way are they closeed. It got so bad a few weeks back that our local policeman said his head was spinning and he was fed up of it. I told him the simple answer to that was to copy me in and I would put them all straight. Obviously he never more than his jobs worth. I just don’t see what they think they are achieving by doing things behind closed doors. x
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You can complain if you have concerns.
They need to inform you about everything. That is your legal right. You are not doing anything wrong. You are the victim here.
Sometimes these people need to be put right.
They do not understand their own policies and ‘Working Together’ is a labyrinth for them.
And yes, you are right, they only want to save their own butts.
You can print the ‘Working Together’ document straight from the internet. It is the document they should adhere to. I think it was updated last year. Read through it and then get them with their own weapons. -
Hi Ayanna that is very good advice, I suspect it was the safeguarding adults social worker who has everyone hiding things from me. Purely because without telling me outright the police have indicated that contact is very much ongoing with them over our case. I suspect she feels that I wont be overwhelmed if I dont know anything about it but she has not bargained in the fact that people keep letting things slip and I am now looking at them all with suspicion. I dont believe any of them, even the ones I like. She has in effect proved my point, professionals do not know the meaning of trust. I would have given her far more respect if she had told me this was going on, updated me and told me to go to her rather than deal with lots of different people. Same as when they tried to trick me into the mental capacity thing on the website it states you are supposed to know about it but she again did it without me knowing. xx
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Hi and hugs
Mine would twist everything is there any way you can tell these organizations that you need to know what is being said because he is telling you they are saying…..
He is playing mind games and taking your power away.
Please try not to let him get to you it’s all about control.
FS xx
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Hi Falling Skys, I can ask but they won’t tell me the truth, the last few times he has come back from meetings etc we have had this issue, Can you imagine my face when he said the council and SS are flapping in case I kill you and they end up in the papers. At one point he mentioned that he had said to the police We will fight them as in mum and I and that made me sad. I don’t want to fight anybody. At one point I never allowed him to know there was issues with me and professionals because that created the illusion we were standing together when dealing with him. Now it is quite obvious I stand alone and they are flapping around somewhere and he is in fact in a great position. xx
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They seem to be really messing things up for you , are you sure that the Police said about not wanting there agencies in the paper or may he have made that up as part of his fantasy. I know you said he only could have got some info form proffesionals but he may have added his own take on it as well.
Do hope you can get some sense and justice out of all of this , keep us posted xx -
Hi Godschild, he never made it up the police said to it to me the following day when I asked him. When I am dead they don’t want to be splashed all over the papers.. as you can imagine my response was if don’t you mean. I tell them all the time I will put it in writing anything that happens is my own fault in the hope that will be enough, but its not! x
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