Why?

[Ocean]

I’m years out but not free yet.
I just don’t understand why I don’t have my mind back. I still doubt and can’t believe the bad things my ex has done. It’s not a good place to be in considering I need to protect my children.
My teenagers don’t doubt and question themselves like I do to myself.
I just don’t understand how I can still be in this place mentally. I just want my mind back and out of his control.

[Lisa]

Hi Ocean,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. going through domestic abuse is a trauma and it can feel difficult to adjust again- its likely still sinking in for you what has happened. It sounds like you may still need to process your experience- don’t be hard on yourself- keep using the forum and reaching out to people who you feel safe with.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

You could try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Ocean]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for the information. It’s very useful, I’ll look into Bloom.

Xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Ocean

I believe we are the last ones to heal, as we focus on surviving and getting safe so much, for ourselves, and our children, that it has to go quiet for quite a long time before we feel safe and able to be in a place to begin the healing process.

I get the feeling that many women take quite a while to come to this point of starting to process everything they have been through. It is afterall such a complex and huge experience to go through, its no wonder it takes such a long time to work through.

warmest wishes

ts

[Ocean]

Hi TS,

Thank you for your comment.
I think you’re right about it needing to go quiet for a long time. I’m still waiting for the quiet.

Best wishes xx

[Footballfan1]

Hi Ocean,

I think Twisted Sister has hit the nail on the head.
I’m more than 6 months out of my abusive relationship, that might seem like no time at all for long term survivors like yourself.

I think it will take years to heal.
I’m willing to take that journey.
I feel that I owe it to the kids, my family, most importantly, myself.

There is no quick fix.
I am most of the way through the freedom programme, I have found that most helpful and aided me in processing the abuse.

Take care and keep posting.
Xx

[Ocean]

Hi Footballfan1,

Thank you for your reply. I wish you the best for your recovery xx

[Author]

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