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Today I am mostly thinking why can he get away with it, he now is controlling me by saying that I can’t say anything to anyone about him..if I hear another fing word from anyone, about what you’ve fing said about me you won’t get another penny..really nasty texts with horrendous name calling and threatening language, vile…but he is seeing someone else and is really happy, in love so he says so why does he still behave like that towards me? Why does he want to still control things, he won’t give me the house key back despite me asking for it several times, seeing the children is on his terms only, it’s all his way or no way. He is no doubt love bombing his new love interests – she much nicer and better looking than me, she’s younger than me, I’m a washed up menopausal sl@g.
How can he get away with this behavior, he financially controlled me, getting into so much debt and then walking away leaving it for me to sort, he isn’t doing anything to help that. He now says he wasn’t abusive and I am making it up, sprouting c**p as usual, it was my fault I was a nightmare to live with……I really don’t get it, it can not be on his terms, no way, what can I do???
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Stick to the law of the land lovely. There are plenty of laws you can use. Really.
It is a case of learning about them and using them.
For example if he harasses you – there are a certain number of times (I think three) before it becomes a criminal offence and you can report it accordingly.Have you done a finance hearing for the finances.
CSA have regulations which deal with people who don’t pay…my advice is to use them.
all best
ftc
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You don’t need three occasions to report to the police. Threats are taken very seriously. While you need him for anything he will mess you about. Take the power out of his hands and use the laws that victims have fought so hard to get. Threatening behaviour and putting you in a state of fear and distress is illegal. You can report this right away. You can get a civil non mol. Perhaps legal aid. He will always abuse you while you have contact.
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Yes, that’s right KIP. I wasn’t referring to threatening behaviour just the law on harassment, which we can check, might be useful. That is – my understanding is once you have asked someone not to phone you, if they continue to do so for example after you have requested them not to then that is covered by laws on harassment. D.a. obviously different case.
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It depends on what country. Where I am it only takes one incident so you can report him to the police and ask him not to contact you in any way. One more incident and the police have grounds to charge him. We have good anti stalking laws too. It’s important to keep evidence of contact. Your initial request for no further contact. Dates and times and witnesses etc. And make sure you speak to the domestic abuse unit. They can actually tell you how to word your message to him not to contact you again. Your local women’s aid can be helpful too.
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he only contacts me when it’s about seeing the kids, we were due to be made homeless because of his debts months ago but he never asks whats happening, ne doesn’t care, he has blocked me on phone, messenger, all social media and text, and only emails me. If I show any signs of criticism to him he threatens me, has said I’m harassing him, the language he uses is horrid and he has threatened me with loosing my job, that I’m a c**p mother, that I am stopping him seeing the kids..I am ignoring him but have to get him to sign paper work and rely on his maintenance and I am really scared of him
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