Why are we expected to take it?

[fizzylem]

I do not understand why we are supposed to take it, deal with it as mothers. It angers me when I am told the abusive relationship with him has nothing to do with your child. When for me it has everything to do with the child, if the mother is unable to do the best job she can, how can the child thrive? How can she meet the child’s needs when having to deal with his sh!t, and his sh!t is damaging the child, only it doesnt meet safeguarding criteria for help.

For example, my child is sat eating chocolate cake on her tablet; because I am worn out and exhausted from dealing with the stuff he’s thrown at me today. When what I’d like to be doing is walking the dog with her followed by doing something nice together, winding down the day, only I havent got it in me. Or I’d like her to get dressed and feel excited about where we’re going, but instead I have to deal with her challenging, angry behaviour, because he has been messing with head again. Yet what goes on between the parents has nothing to do with it – when will the authorites wake up?!?!

The child and the mother are expected to live with it.

We know that mental health has to be the priority above all else – it’s not though is it, his rights and the father child relationship comes first, regardless of what this is doing to the child. As long as he’s not sexually abusing or violent with the child – no problem.

Get’s me so angry x

[Cecile]

Actually the impact of his behaviour upon you and your capacity as a parent is very important. Make notes, keep a journal. It’s all evidence to prove your point.

[fizzylem]

What makes you say this Cecile? x

[Cecile]

Have a google for parenting capacity, assessment of parenting capacity, things that impact upon parenting capacity. There is lots out there and coercive control must affect parenting negatively.

[fizzylem]

Thanks, will do that x

[KIP.]

I think the judges should allow the perpetrators to watch the judges kids for a couple weeks. Let’s see how many judges would let an aggressive delusional perverted man spend time with their kids. If it’s good enough for us then it’s good enough for them x that should be the bench mark x

[fizzylem]

Lol I love that idea – if only KIP! Yes, would you leave your children with him? If the answer is ‘no nor would I leave my child’s gerbil in his care’ then why the hell is ok for us x*x

[Iwantmeback]

That’s a great idea kip, channel 5 can do a documentary about it, like they do so well. I’m being facetious in case yous don’t know🙄

[fizzylem]

Would be a seriously great doc iwmb! Think we should pitch it to c5!

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