- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by fizzylem.
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22nd January 2020 at 4:02 pm #96222lostandbrokenParticipant
I am really struggling to end it, and stick to it. i love this guy so much!
I know i need to be strong and stick to my guns, but being pregnant / stressed / anxious / hormonal im finding it difficult to not want him around.
tried to have a nice weekend with the kids, for a level of normality but he ruined it by being snappy and pressuring to come home etc, i caved and allowed him home to which he then be-lined for my teenagers bedroom to lay into me about how messy it is. Which carried on, and on, and on and on! I explained he was stressing me out, making me anxious but then he got nasty and we ended up arguing.
so because i lost my s**t, im the crazy one and im the one ruining it all. (detail removed by moderator) I was waiting for an apology, but that never came obviously.
i cant cope with this, my anxiety is a mess! I cant eat or sleep, on top of that feeling drained with pregnancy.
All the while im panicking about how on earth im going to get through this 🙁 -
22nd January 2020 at 5:04 pm #96228fizzylemParticipant
Even if he did apologise LAB it would have only been to get him what he wants and back in – there would be no change, as you could see only too well when he came to the house for only a short time.
Your post is so isightful, you can see what is happening and why you feel the way you do so clearly, you’ve explained it so very well, this is golden when in an abusive situation and your head is in the fog – this tells me you are stronger than it feels just now – you have much clarity, know yourself, know what is going on here.
Of course you are hormonal and vulnerable, so naturally feeling I need him – but this is how you feel just now, your head knows otherwise doesnt it, your heart will catch up, the less you need him and the more you realise this the stronger you will feel and your feelings will change again.
You will get through and there will much brighter days and times, providing he is gone of course. Hang in there and pull in all of your support; we dont need a man to raise our children do we, in fact, they sometimes they only make it harder to do, as here, all we really need is support and this can come from other places x*x
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