Why did I do this?

[teabag]

Hi everyone it’s me Again.

My previous post seems to have disappeared into the virtual world.

I’m still pricessing things and having deep discussions in my head about my actions in this abusive relationship.

I can’t understand myself. I ended the relationship citing I could no longer take his abuse. Then (detail removed by moderator) later after he has ignored me I am trying to resolve things. Why?

(Detail removed by moderator) weeks later he tells me he wants to be alone and that he regrets not being the man I deserve and he never wants to adversely affect anyone ever again and he loves me but he needs to be in his own ( he failed to mention at this point he was having an affair with a married woman)
So what did I do, I tried to resolve it. I told him I had hoped he finally experienced real love….WHY. I don’t understand it. I have so many coresspondance telling him he scares me yet there I was like an addict begging him to fix this.

Has anyone experienced this?
X

[Iwantmeback]

It’s called the yoyo effect Teabag. All done to unbalance your emotions and thoughts. It’s very difficult NOT getting dragged into the cycle of abuse, what i do when I realise what’s happening is write it down, so I can go back and make sense of it, so I can see it in the future. It’s hard not reacting automatically to them, we’ve done it for so long, but once we begin to see the game he’s playing, once we put up even a little boundary, you’ll also see he’ll change his tactics. If it wasn’t our lives, the whole subject would be fascinating.
I watched a help video a while ago and part of leaving is to wish them well, it throws them. Even if you see them getting on with their lives, with a new partner, you know deep down that her life is not perfect, it’s an illusion. He’s triangulating just now too by the sounds of it. I can’t believe the terminology I know now, it’s like a whole other world parallel to the real world.
You’re doing really well, you are seeing him for what he is, just take a step back, allow your brain to process this, even write down so you can truly understand what’s going on. Talk to us, many of us are going through/ gone through these emotions too.
Try not to reply to him, it’s not being rude, it’s self preservation.
Best wishes
IWMB 💕💕

[teabag]

Iwantmeback.
Thank you for this. These emails were months ago I went no contact. I’m now working through things as I have the space to do this. Each day brings a new realisation as I detox from his abuse.

I must look up triangulation. Though if it related to me him and his mistress then it would be a square as he was making waves towards another mother! Not sure what his fascination was with mother’s.

Yo-yo effect mystcread up on this. Currently I feel stupid and used beyond measure but it’s helpful to chat in here when I feel stuck or I just cant figure out my thought processes in all of this mess.
Thank you as always x

[KIP.]

Google triangulation in domestic abuse. It was really enlightening x

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